A Long Island Weekend
by LivandDeanshipper4ever
Summary: This is my take on how Dean Porter will return during S.13 Rated M


Title: A Long Island Weekend

Category: TV Shows » Law and Order: SVU

Author: LivandDeanshipper4ever

Language: English, Rating: Rated: M

Genre: Romance/Hurt/Comfort

Published: 11-15-11, Updated: 01-07-12

Chapters: 10, Words: 46,203

Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This is my take on how Dean Porter can return to recapture Olivia's heart.

The SVU team had just closed a major case and the ensemble which included Amaro, Fin, Olivia, Rollins and Captain Cragen. John Munch was still out of town working on getting his bar and grill restaurant opened in New Jersey because the liquor laws were less stringent than in New York City plus real estate was a tad bit cheaper in Jersey than the city.

Olivia had just returned from the ladies room and sat down to finish her drink saying good bye to the rest as they headed out. Detective Amaro hung back seeing that his partner had downed three beers in less than an hour and celebrated with everyone else by starting off with a shot of tequila when they all took to their table earlier.

"Olivia are you ok to get home?" he asked her concerned. She gave him a look before putting the lip of her beer bottle to her lips and draining the last bit then set the empty bottle on the table.

"Yeah Nick I'm fine, I'm walking anyways I only live a few blocks away."

"I, I know Olivia, I'm just concerned how fast you drank your drinks tonight. You just look upset about something that's all."

"Like I told you Nick, I'm fine thanks for your concern." She half smiled at him and proceeded to unmount the tall bar stool. She gathered her purse and opened her wallet preparing to leave her share.

"Fin took care of the tab so you keep this." Nick told her handing her back her thirty dollars. A man walked up to their table in a dark suit. Nick noticed him right away.

"Agent Dean Porter- haven't seen you in a while. What's goin on man?" Dean extended his hand to Nick then looked past him at a familar face who had turned around by now to see him standing there with her partner.

"Good to see you Detective Amaro, you still with wan's?"

"Nah I left warrants and narcotics. Upgraded to special victims unit, this is my partner Olivia Benson."

"Detective Benson," Dean said nodding at her. It's good to see you again." Dean smiled at her.

"Agent Porter you'll excuse us, we were just leaving, let's go detective," Olivia said a little cooly. Nick looked from Dean then back to Olivia noticing the edginess with Olivia as soon as Dean had come on the scene.

"Good to see you man. So when are they going to make you Bureau chief, you've been with them for how long now?" Amaro asked him.

"Twenty two years this spring." Dean said. Olivia turned and stumbled a bit catching the end of the table. Nick and Dean looked at her then to each other.

"I have my car I can take her home detective. We're old friends so to speak." Nick seemed a bit caught off guard as he watched the uneasiness of his partner and the all to eager FBI agent.

"Yeah sure, just wanted to make sure she got home safely." There was along pause before Nick spoke. Night Liv I'll see you tomorrow." They both watched detective Amaro turn and walk out. Olivia waited until Nick was completely out of sight.

"Thanks agent Porter but I'm fine to walk as I kept telling my partner."

Before he crossed the street Nick took a look back at McGinty's where he just left Olivia and Dean. Agent Porter was a great federal agent. He worked with detective Amaro's group on nailing big drug king pins and they took down one of the biggest drug muling organizations five years ago. Dean was a stand-up guy according to Nick.

_Old friends huh? They must have dated and it was a bad break up he thought._

"Olivia please let me see that you get home safely."

"I don't need a baby sitter Dean, I told you I'm fine. Please let me be." He watched her go but kept an eye out. He hung back watching her walk. He realized if he took his car to follow her he may not get a space and would miss knowing if she got inside her building alright. Olivia did make it to her building and turned around knowing he was following her.

"You are persistent aren't you agent Porter?"

"A minute ago it was Dean, what happened?"

"Nothing happened and now that you've witnessed seeing me make it home you can go now…Dean!"

"That's all I wanted to know Olivia. Good night." They stood looking at one another for a few seconds until he turned to leave and walk up the sidewalk. She was just about inside the lobby when she heard him speak. She stood with her back to him before turning around.

"No Olivia that's not all I wanted, I've tried to talk to you about what happened but you've ignored every email, call and voice mail I've left for you. I've explained it countless times and I'm just not going to bother you anymore because it's obvious you don't want to talk about it."

"No Dean I don't, that was over two years ago. It's water under the bridge as far as I'm concerned. It's late, thanks for seeing me home, I appreciate that. Good night." Olivia reached for the double doors opening one taking a step inside the lobby of her apartment building.

"I'm sorry about Elliot, he's a good cop. It's a huge loss for SVU." Olivia stopped but did not turn around.

"Yeah," she said shaking her head. She stared straight ahead and blinked slowly then walked inside never looking back at him.

She tossed and turned most of the night thinking about the sidewalk conversation between her and Dean, well he did the talking she did the listening. Part of her felt sorry for being so flipid with him. She after all wasn't blameless in their parting on not so nice of terms.

_What would talking do? she thought_. _It may just lead to more ill feelings rehashing the past_. She was sorry for setting up the fake dinner date but she wasn't sorry that she kissed him, she wanted to and she enjoyed it to a point of almost not answering her captain's call that night. Olivia kind of liked that he was groveling and trying to make amends. A sense of control over something made her feel the power. She was never herself if she didn't have control over a situation, and in this particular situation she did.

Her emotions went back and forth from being angry at him for not talking to or trusting her and then she went from understanding why he did what he did and then back to being angry. She just couldn't find a happy medium with the whole damn thing.

She was so excited to see him again after a few years ago when he helped clear her brother. They got to know each other during her suspension in May 2007 and she was falling hard for him. They slept together and to her he was the best lover she had experienced. He was romantic, kind, gentle and he listened to her. She admired his patience. No other man was like him that she had known or had been intimate with. At the end of the summer of 2007 his job had separated them too much for Olivia's liking. She wanted more, she was finally ready to commit and he couldn't give it to her. They amicably and sadly parted ways in September 2007.

The next day at work while they were canvasing a neighborhood for an address of a suspected child pornographer Nick took the opportunity to talk about last night.

"Olivia if I'm out of line just tell me ok."

"If this is about Dean Porter yes you're out of line. What's the address again?" He looked at her before answering.

"I get it, you dated. Sorry won't bring it up again."

"Thanks." She said looking at the row of town houses looking for the right one as the sedan crept forward. She had kept that text message from October 2009 right after what happened in the interrogation room. Only moments after he had sent the apologetic explanation Olivia curled up in a fetal position on her couch and cried herself to sleep that night. She seemed in a trance while she stared at the text.

_Olivia I'm sorry for how things turned out but I can't let our jobs interfere with our feelings. Please know that I DO CARE ABOUT YOU & ABOUT US._

Olivia heard Nick say her name only after the second time did she touch the screen and put her phone back in her pocket.

"Liv you ok?"

"Yeah sorry."

"It's fine...hey there, there it is." Nick said. He pulled the car over and they got out.

Two weeks had passed since she last saw Dean Porter. She thought about calling him but thought better of it. She was moving on with all the recent disturbances in her life. Somehow she wished he was still groveling. That sense of power she felt before was diminishing now.

**Friday afternoon 4:30 p.m-**

"Hey you don't mind if I cut out of here early do you?" she asked her partner.

"No, heck no. If you have plans don't let me stand in the way." Detective Amaro said.

"Thank you," she said closing up shop before at 5:00 on a Friday afternoon. She passed his desk as he was halfway leaned back in his chair engrossed with information on his screen in front of him.

"Good luck Olivia, he's a good man." She was startled that she was so transparent. She let a puff of laughter escape her lips as she smiled at the back of her partner and headed out.

She found herself knocking on his apartment door. His neighbor appeared.

"He's not here. I uh, aren't you, you used to come by, I'm sorry I forgot your name but you look so familiar." The man tried in vain to keep his foot blocking the door as his dog tried to see who it was his master was talking to.

"I'm Olivia. I'll come back or better yet I'll call him."

"Right Olivia. I was going to say Olive but wasn't sure. Uh he's house sitting out on Long Island, he won't be back until Monday." Olivia thanked the man and was on her way.

She remembered she had joined him one weekend four years ago when he house sat for his boss who owned the beach front property. What was the address she wondered? She remembered the house was the last one on that long stretch of road but how to get there was the problem. And what was his boss's name? Olivia pondered.

She walked back to apartment #22 C and hesitated at first with her fist inches from the door. He looked a little annoyed this time around.

"Do you remember the address of the beach house?" she asked.

"No I'm sorry I don't but if you're going there just stop at the little country store. Everyone knows each other. Just ask for the FBI agent's house they'll know hell someone will know."

"Thank you." The tall thin neighbor with thick scraggly curly hair shut the door without even telling her she was welcome.

Olivia walked down two blocks from her apartment and stopped at an atm then caught a cab to the train station and took the Long Island expressway. She confused the taxi driver but he found the little general store just before that long road. The proprieter's gave her directions and when the cab pulled up to the waterfront property she thanked the driver and paid the fifty six dollar fare. The house was still as beautiful as she remembered it. All the lights were on and she could smell the aroma of food on the grill coming from the side of the house. She took her weekender and flung it over her shoulder. It was almost November but Indian summer was still hanging around. Olivia wore a cute blue and white tie dyed dress with a beautiful turquoise southwestern bangle with matching earings and sandals. She looked summery and smelled pretty.

She walked up the few stairs leading to the front of the house and headed to the right of the wrap around porch to where he was sitting in the adirondack chair. He was grilling his dinner and the open bottle of wine was on the table beside his chair with his glass half empty. The smell of charbroiled meat, the ocean and left over smells from the day wafted under her nostrils. He looked so sad just sitting in the chair with his head resting against his hands in A formation.

He slowly put his hands down and turned her way. Her perfume drifted into his senses which made him turn her way. She stood there clutching her bag, smiling at him. He got up slowly and walked to her. He was happy; he was puzzled all at the same time. He took her bag from her and set it down. He looked into her eyes and brought his arms around her pulling her into a hug.

They pulled apart and walked over to the chairs.

"I'm glad you're here." He offered her a chair smiling at her.

"I am too but you did forget the wine as she held up an empty hand as if she was holding a glass.

"Have you eaten? I know you don't care much for steak but I can throw a piece of chicken on here or we can go into town?" He started for the inside of the house but she stopped him.

"No that's ok I'm not really hungry but thank you though." She sipped her wine as the autumn breeze from the Atlantic blew softly through her hair. He turned the knobs to off taking his steak that was most likely medium rare at this point and putting it on the plate.

"You're not going to eat."

"No not if you're not. I can call for delivery, no trouble and you have to eat." He walked over to the door and slid it open going inside with the plate. Olivia followed.

"I ate a late lunch so I'm good." She said.

"Hey Monty, Monty Python come here boy I have a juicy steak for you." The golden retriever bounced into the kitchen, his nails clicking hard on the floor. Dean cut up the steak and put the strips of meat into his bowl. The dog salivated waiting for his bowl to be at mouth level.

"You're staring is there something wrong? I have something in my teeth right?" Dean just smiled at her wiping off the counter then washing his hands.

"No. Nothing is wrong I've just missed how beautiful you are." She smiled at him sipping more of her wine.

"Thanks." She turned and stepped into the living room taking a seat on the couch. He came and sat down beside her with an arm's length between them.

"That's a nice shirt." She said noticing he was wearing the burgundy Reebok golf shirt she gave him as a birthday gift a few years back.

"I know and I love this shirt, it's my favorite one from my favorite lady and my color too." She smiled again, this time her lips parting slightly to show her beautiful straight teeth.

"Did my neighbor remember you?"

"Said I looked familiar but couldn't remember my name. I had forgotten how to get here so he-"

"Told you to stop at the mom and pop corner market because everyone on the island knows one another. I swear I feel like I'm walking into the "Cheers" bar whenever I stop there," he said finishing her sentence. She looked over at him and smiled closed mouthed. He detected some nervousness with her as she smoothed the hem of her dress across her knee caps over and over with her free hand.

"You want go for a walk on the beach?" She was taking a sip of her wine when he asked.

"Sure I'd love to." She set down her glass on the coaster.

The waves rolled onshore as high tide was setting in. The crescent moon set high up into the night sky as the high tide rolled in. He was barefoot and she held her sandals behind her back as they walked without saying anything for a while until Dean spoke up.

"Olivia I'm really glad you came but what changed your mind?"

"To let go of the past and put it behind us. We may have to work together again and I don't want any bad feelings between us."

"I don't either, but is that all?"

"What do you mean?" she asked stopping, turning to look at him somewhat unsure. He stuck his hands in the pockets of his jeans and moved the sand with his foot looking down. Whenever he stuck his hands in his pockets she knew he was nervous. He managed to look up and his eyes connected with hers as the wind swept through his hair.

"Do you only want to be just friends Olivia?" She took her eyes off his looking back at the row of beach houses behind him.

"I don't know what I want Dean. Part of me wanted to come here tonight to really have it out with you because I've been holding onto the hurt for so long but I decided so much time has past since it happened and I'm not totally innocent in what went down….and the other part of me is so afraid to take this leap with you for fear that things won't work out for us. We've tried twice now and…"

"Olivia I know you scared and I am truly sorry that I hurt you by not talking to you about what I was allowed to say. If I could take it all back I would in a heartbeat. I know the hurt you must be feeling with a major setback with losing your best friend and partner." Olivia wondered as soon as he said "best friend" first and partner second if he still had reservations about the bond she and Elliot shared after working so closely together for years.

"It's never easy when things like that happen. We can take things as slow as you want; you know, just hang out, have fun and be support for each other. I want to be there for you." She drifted her gaze back to meet his and Dean saw the wetness when she blinked. He pulled her onto his chest and wrapped his arms around her. Her arms hung at her sides for a few moments before she brought them up slowly around his waist.

"I'm just so tired Dean…I'm- just- so- tired." Olivia sighed deep. "Of all of it." she said barely audible against his chest.

"It's going to be ok Olivia, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere," he softly said against her cheek. He heard her lightly sobbing against his shoulder as he felt the dampness seep into his shirt. It was an all too familiar feel that he liked so much with her body against his and how her scent filled his membranes. He knew every crevice, every inch of her body. This felt good he thought, wanting to help her heal, for her to depend on his love and strength again. He knew it would be a long road back to that and he was a patient man when it came to Olivia Benson.

She kept her eyes closed as she reflected on how good it felt to have a man's arms wrapped around her. To be in the safety and comfort of his arms again brought back a flood of good memories. This was Dean after all she thought, _the man I fell in love with but it was also Dean who didn't trust me and lied to me. No Olivia don't go there, she said to herself. Let's go forward…forward_.

They stood embracing as the water now reached their feet and Dean's pant legs were getting wet. Each wave that trickled onshore would make their heels sink deeper into the wet sand. His arms slowly let go of her as he kissed her forehead. "Want to go back inside or keep walking and talking?" he asked. "I'm all talked out," she responded.

Monty greeted them at the side door. "You want some more wine?"

"A little bit more, I'm starting to feel a little buzz." She said feeling her face.

"Because you haven't eaten anything since your late lunch, here have some." He offered her the relish tray with assorted fruits, cheeses, cubed meats, pickles and olives. Olivia picked apart some red grapes with a few cubes of cheese then popped a few pieces of the meats into her mouth followed by some black olives.

"I can make you an egg white omelet if you'd like?"

"No thank you this hit the spot." She took another handful of grapes and some cheese and made her way over to the couch. Dean came over and flicked on the television turning the volume to low sitting down beside her about an arm's length away. It was quiet for a time being. Dean stretched his legs and put his feet up on the glass coffee table and started drumming his fingers on his knees to the contemporary pop music playing on the music channel.

"Dean I'm sorry too for misleading you that evening, that's not me."

"I know but the kiss wasn't misleading, I mean it felt like the way you would kiss me before."

"I almost didn't answer the call from my captain."

"I was hoping that you wouldn't. She changed the subject fast not ever wanting to re visit that night.

"This house is gorgeous. I agree with wife's decorating touch, less window dressings as possible. You really want the winter sun to shine in and the trees give enough shade in the spring and summer not to worry about the heat."

"Olivia?"

"Yes."

"You said that the last time you were here. Are you really that nervous about being here?" She hesitated before answering

"No, sorry," she chuckled lightly.

"Don't be sorry. You can have your pick of either bedroom."

"You're assuming I'm sleeping here?"

"You did bring your bag and yes I am assuming there are clothes in there for tomorrow, right?"

"Yes there are clothes in there just in case you weren't here when I arrived. I would have gone back to town and got a hotel room since the last train to the city stopped running at eight thirty."

"Moi not here? Oh yeah that's right, I have a couple of lady friends across the way and a few engagements tomorrow and then there's the Whitmore's party tomorrow night on the yacht, so yeah I have a busy schedule this weekend." He shook his head smiling at her sarcastically. She let out a tiny laugh popping a grape into his mouth.

"See I knew I could get you to laugh. I love to hear you laugh Olivia." They stared at one another a little too long and Dean slowly brought his face closer to hers waiting for a sign from her. Her eyes followed his easing their way down to his mouth. Their lips almost touched before Olivia pulled back.

Dean hung his down then looked at Olivia.

"I'm sorry Liv…I, I, I didn't mean to push it." She brought her finger to his lips silencing his worries.

"It's alright."

"Olivia I'm not going to lie to you, I want us to be more than friends, I want us to make love like we used to but I promised you we would take it slow and I mean it." She shook her head in agreement. He flipped through the channels until they found a movie. The Money Pit with Tom Hanks and Shelly Long was a funny classic they both had seen numerous times and agreed on. Dean sat back and she laid back on him with his arm draped over her shoulder resting comfortably on her stomach. Several minutes later he felt her fingers lacing together with his.

She awoke first and it was four eighteen a.m. Dean felt her stir and opened his eyes as well.

"How did the movie end? Did they end up getting the house fixed?" He stretched and yawned. She followed suit with a yawn of her own rolling her eyes.

"Why don't you re-watch it and invent your own ending since you've seen it a thousand times," she said smirking at him. They laid in silence for a few moments.

"Liv I have to use the bathroom," he said gently pushing her off him.

"Me too.

She came from the bathroom and he was unfolding a blanket and laying it across the couch.

"What bed can I sleep in?" He looked at her hoping he wasn't caught staring too long.

"I'll sleep here you can take the bed in the loft."

"Ok, good night."

"Good night Olivia. He laid in the dark for a long time before trying to go back to sleep.

The break of dawn had arrived and Dean awoke to the sound of running water in the upstairs bathroom. He rubbed his eyes and yawned getting up slowly. He let the dog out, started the coffee and contemplated on what to make them for breakfast.

Olivia appeared a half hour later fresh from her shower wearing a cami and cropped pajama pants.

"Good morning, mmmm smells good, what are we having?" she asked taking a seat at the counter. The bacon was frying in the pan and the coffee was ready to pour.

"Good morning, well you have your choice of Dean's version of an egg white mcmuffin, pancakes, bacon, hot cereal, cold cereal, orange juice, coffee, toast or a bagel."

"Hmmm hard choice but I'll have your version of an egg mcmuffin with cheese and one piece of bacon, coffee, and is there any more of that fruit left?"

"Coming right up." He placed a cup of coffee in front of her and got a bowl out of the cupboard for her fruit. Minutes later he joined her with their breakfast.

"This is good. What did you mix with the egg?"

"A little bit of chive and onion flavored cream cheese," he told her.

"Looks like it's going to be a beautiful day," Olivia said looking past him to the side door chewing her food.

"Sure is, what would you like to do today?"

"I don't know, what is there to do, anything special happening in town?" she asked.

"There's always something multicultural cultural going on and if I remember correctly I saw in the weekly circular a hot air balloon festival in Deer Park." He went and retrieved the paper.

"I've never been up in one," she said. He opened up to today's events and sure enough there was one but reservations were strongly urged.

"Oh the ride is magnificent Liv, are you up for it?"

"Sure, I'll try anything for the first time."

"Anything?" he said flirtatiously wagging his brows at her.

"Go call and see if they have availability," she said trying hard not to look at him or laugh. They did have an opening in the afternoon. He started the clean-up of breakfast but she shooed him away finishing it for him. He showered and Olivia finished getting dressed. She giggled to herself when she heard him singing opera, rather attempting to in the shower upstairs. He's so adorable but crazy sometimes. He's as different as chalk and cheese when it comes to work and his social life, she said as she shook her head smiling.

They took Monty for a nice leisurely stroll before heading out. You couldn't have asked for a more pleasant autumn day. Three weeks before Thanksgiving and the temperature was still in the low seventies, ten degrees warmer than normal. Indian summer was hanging on.

"Do you have any plans for Thanksgiving next week?"

"I'm going to Simon and Lucy's. What about you?"

"My sister and I are going to my brother's."

"That will be nice."

"Yeah, watch some football eat too much, the usual." She glanced over at him while he threw a stick for Monty to chase. Olivia had always admired his physique. Broad shoulders, muscular but not ripped like most gym rats. He was lean and firm. Legs of a soccer player although he didn't play soccer, he was a hockey and baseball fan.

"Alright big guy you had almost an hour walk, time to go in," Dean said giving him a good rub. They deposited the dog at the house and drove to Deer Park.

It was crowded with tourists and locals. He found a spot on the grass and parked the car. They strolled the grounds stopping to check out the wares from some of the vendors before heading over to the balloon ride.

Olivia was nervous as the driver closed and locked the basket door and explained last minute rules and details of the ride. Just like that the gas was blown up inside the balloon and soon they were ascending to the skies. Another couple shared the ride with them. Dean videoed Olivia as she seemed excited as she looked out over Long Island from above. She was cute with her comments, he thought. He admired her sense of spontaneity and thrill.

"Would you mind taking a picture of us," Dean asked the other couple.

"Aw that's a great picture, send me a copy," she told him. They smiled warmly at one another. After the ride they window shopped and Olivia bought some blown glass figurines she had admired watching being made.

They caught dinner in town. He passed her the phone and she watched the video he took earlier.

"You going to post this on Twitter?" she laughed handing him back the phone.

"Just might." They enjoyed a nice dinner and the conversation just seemed endless. Just like old times Dean thought admiring her beauty, her smile, the way she laughed. They ordered coffee and shared a dessert then afterwards he paid the bill and they headed back.

"You think Monty has his legs crossed?" Olivia asked turning up the radio to a favorite song playing and leaning a little closer to him.

Dean walked the dog while Olivia stayed back. She was sitting on the couch flipping through a magazine when they returned.

"Nice warm day today but that cold front sure got here fast," he said rubbing his hands together. "I can make a fire if you're cold."

"I wasn't cold until you just opened that door letting it in. Yeah a fire sounds good to me."

"I'll get the wood." After wrestling withe fire it was finally going good. They sat close on the sofa feeling the warmth of the fire.

"I had a nice day, the balloon ride was a lot of fun, thank you Dean." she patted his thigh and let her hand linger before removing it.

"You're welcome. This weekend has been nice having you here, thanks again for coming Liv." He turned his head slowly to her and she turned hers to meet his gaze. Her eyes danced and he could see the flames refecting on her pupils. She moved closer kissing him lightly on the lips then cuddling up to him. Dean reached over to the coffee table and turned on the music and turned off the lights. They sat snuggled up for hours listening to the soft romantic music and the popping of the firewood watching the bright orange flames reflect against the walls.

Dean felt his manhood start to thicken up inside his jeans and Olivia took notice but said nothing. He placed his free arm over his lap. She had to admit she also felt some moisture building up between her legs. He shifted then sat up.

"I need to use the bathroom," he said easily removing his arm from around her. She wanted him and wanted him bad.

"Dean wait." She grabbed his hands then stood up face to face with him. She kissed him and he was taken aback a bit by her eagerness. He reciprocated by filling the insides of her mouth with his tongue.

"Olivia I really need to use the bathroom." She walked over to her purse and retrieved a small square package. He knew right away what it was.

"I've had these in my medicine cabinet since the last time we…we made love."

"That was two years ago are they stil-"

"Says if properly stored can last four to five years," she said in under a second.

Dean chuckled then put it together. "You thought that I was going to…Ok." He nodded and smiled through his laughter at her willingness.

"What? What's so funny?" she asked.

"I do have to go pee not the other."

Olivia felt slightly embarrassed because after all she had agreed to take things slow with him. Her hormones certainly were taking over. Dean returned from the bathroom and sat down beside her giving her neck a squeeze then stroked her back.

"I'm so upside down, I'm sorry I don't know why I brought them."

"You want this as bad as I do Olivia. There wasn't a day that didn't go by I didn't think about you, wanting to drive over to your place and make you talk to me but I knew if I did that it would be disastrous. You are by far the most beautiful, sexy intelligent woman I know and all I have to do is look at you and know I want you, I want this, I want it all…with you."

"You made it impossible for me to let you go." She looked at him and managed a quirky smile. "I have to admit I enjoyed seeing you grovel, it told me that you were still interested but on the other hand when you stopped calling and emailing I felt I made a very big mistake by not giving you a chance to explain and when and if we ever did meet again, I was afraid that you would tell me that you were either engaged or married."

"I'm glad we didn't re-meet like that because there's only one woman I would ever want to spend the rest of my life with." They gazed at each other exchanging small smiles. They leaned in at the same time and both gave way to a deep kiss. Olivia murmured against his mouth as her arm rested on his waist and the other around his neck. The fire in her belly and dampness in her loins made her face feel very flush. They ended their kiss with soft sweet pecks. She stood up and his eyes started at her pelvic area traveling up her body. He stood up slowly and they gazed lovingly into each other's faces. Olivia nodded at him smiling, taking his hand and leading him upstairs.

He couldn't keep his eyes off her backside as they ascended the narrow spiral staircase. Once inside the room Dean grabbed at her hips turning her around kissing her passionately as she reciprocated with a lot of tongue. He cupped her face planting small kisses on her cheeks, her forehead, and her neck; anywhere there was bare skin exposed his lips were there. He nibbled on the skin just below her earlobe and Olivia let out a small moan.

"Mmmm feeeels good," she whispered. He carefully guided her backwards onto the bed and gently laid his body over top of hers. Olivia immediately felt his hardness pressing into her vaginal area. She knew all too well what lurked behind his boxers and was determined not to waste much more time in setting his cock free. His words were breathy against her cheek as his lips brushed across and fastened themselves to her lips.

"I want you Olivia, I've always wanted you."

"I want you too," she said breathlessly between kisses. He locked hands with hers above her head and his mouth moved slowly down to her chest. He kissed her between the v-neck opening of her shirt. Olivia gripped his hands tighter as the heat in her loins boiled with desire. She opened her legs wider yielding extra room for his large body to snuggle in between. They lay stacked kissing passionately.

Dean loosened his hand free from hers and started to massage her breast through her shirt. They continued to kiss with much heat as Dean's fingers softly kneaded the firm flesh underneath her bra. He slipped his hand under Olivia's shirt and squeezed the mound that was protected by her bra. Her nipple was hard and very full, eager for his mouth to suck on it. He had felt a heavy charm that lay between her cleavage. His hand retreated from under her shirt and he started to lift it over her head. Olivia lay beneath him clad only in her black bra and jeans and the three necklaces that adorned her neckline. He knew of the other two but the insignia of the Globe, Eagle and Anchor had him staring. She noticed this and lifted her head up unfastening the necklace Elliot gave her and putting it on the night table next to the bed. They gazed at one another; his gaze was more in wonderment. His mouth and hands became reckless with her chest as he kissed, caressed and licked between her cleavage and through the material that hid her beautiful girls that his mouth was so desperately hungry for.

Dean stopped his assault on her chest as his mouth kissed down to her navel. He looked up at her after kissing the inside of her belly button and all around. She smiled and cooed softly arching her hips groaning for him to continue heading south. He teased and tantalized her with his skillful tongue. He rose up kneeling between her legs pulling off his shirt with speed and tossing it on the floor next to hers. Olivia's legs trembled at the sensitivity her body was feeling.

He landed gently back on top of her kissing her full force. Olivia ran her hands through his thick dark hair as her tongue plunged deep into his mouth softly sucking his tongue. After a few moments of French kissing, Dean pulled off her mouth and concentrated on her chest again. He slid her bra straps off her shoulders and she sat up reaching behind her unhooking it so her perfectly large round plump breasts spilled into his mouth.

He flicked his tongue over each angry nipple, gently tugging and devouring them. He felt his dick constricted under his jeans so they had to go too. He stood up fast unbuttoning and unzipping them as if his body had caught fire. The enormous bulge in his boxer briefs made Olivia smile in anticipation of what was about to become. He stopped pulling them down when she sat up stroking him through his briefs. He laid his head back in complete bliss at her touch. How he missed the way she made him feel.

She tucked her fingertips inside the waistband and practically yanked them the rest of the way off, her eyes growing wide and happy as his cock sprung loose and bounced in front of her. She wrapped her hands around his thickness and began to softly stroke him until he cupped her chin signaling her to stop.

Dean kissed her fully on the mouth, his hands roamed down her back squeezing her ass softly. They fell back against the bed easily and his mouth continued its trail down the soft skin of her much defined torso. He kissed the insides of her thighs causing her to convulse into a pre orgasm. She shifted and bucked her hips almost to the point of slamming into his chin. His fingers probed at her slick opening then his mouth latched on to her swollen clitoris. He nibbled at the tiny pink erect flesh while fingering her. His fingers found her g-spot right away as he tickled the inside of her walls.

"Ohhhhh damnnnn," she shuddered in delight at his tongue lavishing her vagina. She pressed his head hard against her pussy. Her climax was coming so she arched her butt high off the mattress as her juices flowed uncontrollably into his mouth.

"Mmmmm God don't stop Dean," she shivered in delight begging him. He glanced upwards and her head was tilted as far back as her neck would allow and she had one hand firmly grasping the sheet, the other locked behind his head. He continued to lick her until she came again then he climbed on top of her giving her a sweet peck on the lips before grabbing the condom wrapper from the bed table.

Dean opened the package and proceeded to roll the prophylactic device down over his thick elongated member. It didn't go all the way to the base but at least it covered the most important part that they were most likely thinking of. He crawled in between her and rubbed his cock at her opening, guiding his missile in slowly. They kissed tenderly as he rocked his hips gently and slowly inside of her. After a while he picked up the pace. The sweat had built up around his temple area and the front of his hair was laden with sweat as he continued to make love to her.

"You're so beautiful Olivia; I could never have enough of you." He kissed her forehead as he gazed into her eyes.

"Then don't," she said reaching up to his lips kissing him deeply. Dean pulled out and moved Olivia closer to the edge of the bed putting her legs over his shoulders as he moved in and out of her soaked hole.

"You feel so good." He licked his lips then tucked them inside his mouth. "Mmmmm," he uttered tilting his head back then gazing at her. At times her eyes were closed and she was grabbing at her breasts moaning in sheer ecstasy. Dean felt his ejaculation soon to spurt so he pulled out and climbed into bed up against her back. He kissed the tops of her shoulders smoothing her hair back. She reached over and held his hand then stroked his forearm. He lifted her thigh a few inches apart, enough to allow him comfortable access. Olivia's hand was on his hip and she gripped it feeling him thrust forward. She pushed herself against him opposite his thrusts. The sperm in his balls were swirling, ready to shoot into the latex wrapper. He held her arm, gripping it for support as he thrust his hips into her exploding his load.

He sighed heavily and long as the last drop of his seed was out of him. He lowered his head onto her shoulders, his breathing a bit labored.

"Oh my God Liv," he said panting. "It just gets better and better."

"Mmmm yeah it does," she said catching up to her breath.

They went to brunch the next morning at a local establishment that was famous for its artichoke, Canadian bacon and spinach quiche and fire orange mimosas.

"A toast to us, to a renewed friendship and beyond."

"I'll certainly toast to that," she said clinking her glass with his.

After brunch with slightly full stomachs they strolled the docks finding a bench to sit down.

"What are you thinking Olivia?" She stared ahead and paused before answering him.

"That I have to go back to the city in a little while and start another work week in a little more than twenty four hours."

"Your work week will be short at least." He watched her tuck her hair behind her ear. She blew a breath.

"Yeah that'll be the only bright spot."

"I wish we could spend the holiday together," he said watching the passer byers, the birds circling, hopefully for a lucky crumb.

"We both have families." She told him with a hint of sadness in her voice.

"I'll drive you back to the city that way you can stay a little longer."

"Dean you don't have to drive me all the way in then come all the way back, BUT thank you though." She touched his arm and cocked her head bringing him to look at her. His lips managed a small upwards curve when their eyes met.

"I don't mind, I want to Liv, I want us to spend as much time as possible. When will we see each other again?"

"Next week after the holiday is over depending on our schedules." She said.

"Seems like an eternity." He was looking down at the wood rubbing his shoe on a warped plank. She detected the sadness in his voice and the somberness in his eyes.

"Come on while we still have a few hours left."

"Where are we going?" he asked letting her take his hand and lead the way.

"Do you remember that old cinema that showed classics? Is it still there?" she asked him.

"I don't know the last time I was there was with you. Let's go check it out." They walked a few blocks and when they got to their destination they found the cinema was no more.

"It can't be because of the economy," he said. "Those who live around here, recession IS not in their vocabulary."

"Darn I thought we could catch a Bogart classic like last time." She said. A kid was passing by on his bike.

"They opened up a new one a few blocks down, six screens now with stadium seating and better concessions." The kid said pedaling away.

"Are you game?" Olivia asked.

"Let's do it….the movies I mean." He smirked at her and she rolled her eyes playfully swatting his arm. Two theatres were showing old classics and the other four had newer movies. Olivia and Dean settled on "The Bishops Wife" staring Cary Grant, one of Hollywood's greatest actors of all time. They skipped the concession stand because they both were still full from eating brunch just a few hours ago. They were almost shoulder to shoulder sitting in their seats. Dean went for Olivia's hand at the same time she went for his and it seemed awkward for a second until they just smiled it away.

They were the last to leave the theatre as they sat and waited for the credits to finish rolling.

"That was a great movie. I love classics like that and it had the true meaning of Christmas." She said as they left the theatre. He loved her excitement and how her eyes sparkled when she was retelling her favorite parts. She was so beautiful when she just went on and on he thought to himself. A bomb could have dropped right there in the middle of the theatre without Dean ever knowing it. He was so absorbed with Olivia all he could do was bask in her happiness.

"I'm going to the ladies room then we'll go."

"Alright I'll bring the car around." He had the heat on because it seemed as though the Indian summer they were having all last week suddenly packed its bags and old man winter returned. She hoped in rubbing her hands, placing them against the heating vent as they drove off.

"Whitney Houston and Denzel Washington did a remake of that movie," he said driving.

"That's right. Well Denzel Washington is one fine looking man. Haven't seen him in a movie recently." She said.

"Probably working on one." He added. They stopped to eat then arrived back at the beach house as the sun was setting.

"You're leaving tomorrow?" she asked him.

"In the morning on the way to work."

"Where did your boss and his wife go?"

"Florida to wrap up a real estate deal." He told her.

"Come sit, I still have an hour before you take me to the train station." He waited for Monty to appear at the side door then he let him in and he moseyed over and sat down next to her.

"I really had a great time with you this weekend. Thank you again."

"You're welcome, I'm really glad you came, I just wish you didn't have to go tonight."

"I wish I didn't have to either but I have court tomorrow and I don't want to make you get up extra early just to get me home on time. Besides the time apart we can really do a lot of thinking."

"I'm all thought out Liv. I hate being alone, I've been alone for most of my life." Olivia was resonating with his feelings and she wanted to stay but she also knew she wanted to be sure of this step because there would be no next step for them if this time it didn't work out. She had to take the steps necessary to trust and love him fully as before. This last case they worked on was such a debacle it drained her heart and made her feel as though she aged to fast.

"Me too Dean but we have a lot to look forward to, I hope." She laid her head against his shoulder and he put his arm around her stroking her arm. They chatted until it was time for her to get ready to go.

He pulled up to the train station and they got out. It was pretty silent between them as they waited inside for her train. When it arrived she turned and looked to him and took his hands in hers.

"Don't be sad, please…because you're going to make me not want to get on this train," she said choking up on her words. He pulled her into a hug and when he let go he looked intently into her eyes.

"I miss you already." They leaned together at the same time and locked lips. His arms swallowed her small framed body up as he tightened his hold on her. She pressed her hands into his back holding on to him. To onlookers it might have seemed as the long good bye as they kissed a little longer than normal. Dean kissed her forehead lightly as they parted.

"Call me later," he said as she boarded the train waving good bye to her.

"I will, promise." She said winking at him. The doors closed and the train whistled loudly as it slowly moved away from the platform. Olivia's phone signaled she had a text message. It was from Dean.

I miss you already; I miss the way you taste on my lips. She smiled wide and turned to looked through the window but he wasn't standing on the platform any more. He sure is a fast texter she thought. When did he have time to text all that? she wondered.

When her train passed the last platform and started full speed ahead Olivia saw him standing at the end waving good bye. She felt the water pool up in the corners of her eyes.

She called him as promised later that evening.

"I'm glad you made it back safely."

"How's Monty?" she asked lying on her couch with her cell to her ear.

"He refuses to come inside until you come back."

"Dean stop your making me feel guilty," she whined.

"Your text was sweet but when did you have time to compose it, you were with me all day?"

"You mean I pulled one over on you Liv?" She thought for a few seconds.

"Clever…the ladies room after the movie."

"Well that was the only time we were away from each other." He said. They continued to talk and neither of them had realized it was almost midnight and they had been talking for almost an hour.

"I'll call you tomorrow, what's your schedule look like?"

"Two meetings then a follow up on some leads."

"Sounds good, good night Dean and tell Monty I said to get his behind in the house because he'll freeze to death outside and you'll be the one having to answer to his owners." She laughed.

"GOOD NIGHT Olivia, talk to you tomorrow," he said jokingly. Dean lay on the couch until he drifted off to sleep still smelling her perfume through his shirt.

The next morning before getting into the shower she picked up her clothes off the floor that she wore yesterday feeling too lazy to stick them in the hamper when she finally made her way to her bed last night. She brought her shirt up to her nose getting a good whiff of his cologne that was still lingering. Olivia was missing Dean and it felt good to have someone care so much for her like he did.

They made plans to see each other on Thanksgiving evening after they were done visiting with family but then Dean got called out of town on a case and wasn't going to return until the end of the week so their date had to be postponed until Friday. Her partner even noticed a difference with her at work. Olivia seemed happier than normal, something he hasn't seen from her since they started partnering together five months ago.

"Have a good weekend?" he asked her setting a cup of coffee down on her desk as he just came back catching with Fin. She toyed with her pen between her fingers as she stared at her screen.

"Yeah…I did. How about you?"

"Took my daughter to a matinee then me her and my mom went to dinner, not much and saw my Giants lose yesterday to a team with the lousiest record in the NFL." She smiled at him then got back to work. An email popped up in her mailbox and she opened it. There were two attachments, one was a picture of her in the hot air balloon and the other was of her and Dean with him standing behind her, his arms wrapped snuggly around her and her head tilted against his cheek, both with bright smiles on their faces. Nick noticed her smiling at the screen.

Can't stop thinking about our weekend nor you. Can't wait to see you Friday, call you soon .

When Friday rolled around Olivia still had not heard from Dean. She texted him but he didn't reply back so she called and it went straight to his voice mail. She started to wonder what was up with him then she began to worry after the second text and still no reply. When she finally did hear from him it was Sunday evening. He called her back when he got in range.

He was relieved to be done with this case and get home to her. She didn't pick up when he called her back so he figured she was asleep on the couch so he went straight to her place.

_She must really be sacked out he thought_ as he was just about to leave after waiting what seemed like an eternity. Olivia walked to the door sliding the chain over slowly with her tongue pressed into the corner of her mouth. She was over being worried, she was pissed.

"Hi, I'm so sorry I had no service in the fucking po-dunk town we were in." he said coming in closing the door behind him. She stood looking at him for a few seconds until she turned her back to him heading into the kitchen. He thought this was deja-vu all over again.

"We were after a suspect who eluded us for five days." He stared at her looking out her kitchen window. "You don't believe me do you? I'll get a copy of my cell phone record and show you I've had no incoming or outgoing calls up until today. I got your texts and voice mail when I got in range and I called you as I got them Olivia but you never called me back. I had a feeling this was going to happen." He was sounding nervous not wanting to anticipate her next move.

"Where did you sleep while you apprehending this suspect who was too smart for the FBI for five days?" she said walking back to him, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"In the car and one night in a roach infested motel so we could shower and take care of oral hygiene needs in shifts. Dammit Olivia! Why are we going through this again?"

"WE are not going through anything! I'm sure you have you heard of pay phones or know how to place a collect call from a motel room?" He stood eyeballing her and could feel his blood pressure rising.

"You're right I'm an insensitive asshole for not thinking of that. I just wonder if the other's guys wives or significant others are giving them a hard time because they couldn't make a call either. You have to believe me that I wanted to call you to avoid all this."

"Get out just get the hell out and lose my number!" Dean looked at her stunned that she was taking this action against him. He looked up at the ceiling and puffed his cheeks out exhaling loudly. He swallowed hard and when he looked at her his eyes were glassy.

"Olivia please don't do this. I'm sorry." She folded her arms looking away shaking her head then started to turn away but stopped when he started speaking.

"You can't keep doing this to me, I have feelings too you know. You can't just tear my heart apart like four years ago." He never saw her hand coming against his cheek, all he felt was the blistering sting from her palm. His mouth hung open as his tongue slid across his bottom lip then closed his mouth tightly.

"You bastard! Tear your heart apart?" Leave…now!" Dean started for the door then turned around.

"Just know this Olivia…the man lucky enough to have you-" he sniffed and pinched the bridge of his nose then wiped underneath his nose sniffing.

"Cut him a lot more slack that you didn't afford me. Your relationship may just survive." With that said he turned and walked out of her apartment feeling like he was walking out of her life but didn't want to. He waited a few seconds before heading down her hallway, his heart heavy in grief his tears ready to spill.

She locked and chained her door, her bottom lip quivering, her eyes very red and wet. She walked back to into the kitchen and broke down sobbing against the kitchen counter. She pounded hard on the counter top causing the glass cutting board to fall from the dish drying rack and shatter on the floor. Dean had gotten to the stairwell when he heard the shattering of glass so he turned back to her apartment. He knocked on her door.

"Olivia are you alright, please let me come in. Are you hurt?"

"Just go away; please…just…go away." She slumped down onto the tile floor sobbing heavily. He knocked for about fifteen straight minutes until a neighbor stuck his head out and told him people have to go to work in the morning and could he please stop knocking on her door, it was evident enough she wasn't going to open it. Dean flashed his badge and told the gentleman to go back inside; he wouldn't be disturbing anyone anymore.

What he really felt like doing was to pound on the fat slob. If Dean had known who her super was he would of asked to be let in but since he didn't he sat down outside her door and was going to wait it out. Shortly thereafter two uniform cops showed up at Olivia's apartment courtesy of her nosy neighbor.

"No officer there's no problem." Dean showed him his badge and explained that he was concerned for his friend because he heard glass shatter. The two uniforms knocked on her door announcing who they were. Dean stood away from the peep hole and when Olivia answered the door her foot had a paper towel stuck to it with soaked in blood.

"Mam are you alright do you need medical attention?"

"I'm fine just a little cut and if you don't mind I need to finish cleaning it up."

"Alright well your gentleman friend here was just concerned with you because he heard glass shatter." By that time Dean emerged from his stance against the wall into her line of sight.

"Thanks officers I'll stay with her and see to it she gets medical attention if needed."

"Have a good evening, mam." The two cops tipped their hat at Olivia and left. Dean followed Olivia inside.

"I don't need you here Dean, I'm fine, I'm just going to clean this glass up and go to bed and I'd like you to leave." He removed his trench coat and draped it over the couch.

"I'm not leaving you Olivia." He said softly. He got the broom from where she left it when the officers knocked on her door and swept up the broken glass into the dust pan then dumped it in the trash. Olivia hobbled over to the couch blotting her bloody foot with the paper towel. Dean washed up the spotty blood prints from where she walked then rinsed the rag and came over to her.

"Can I see how bad it is?" he asked sincerely. She looked at him, closed her eyes then opened them sighing heavily.

"What happened to your arm?" she asked impatiently looking at the dried blood on his bicep area.

"I got grazed by a ricocheted bullet, its fine; it's nothing, just scraped the skin."

"Oh I see is that why you have a huge patch of dried blood on your shirt?" she said as he wiped at the small incision on the ball of her foot. He definitely could use another shower she thought.

"You have band aids and Neosporin?"

"Yeah I'll get them." She started to rise and he stilled her with his hand.

"No let me don't get blood on your carpet."

"Fine, medicine cabinet top shelf." He returned with them and proceeded to dab some ointment on the cut then place one big square bandage over it with two strips of adhesive tape to secure it.

"There that should do it." he said looking at her half smiling.

"Thank you Doctor Porter." She said flatly.

"Take off your shirt let me see this grazed hit." He did as she said. She watched him unbutton it trying to restrain herself from staring at his olive toned nicely defined chest and arms.

"Hand me the rag please." She wiped the dried blood off then put ointment on and covered it with two side by side band aids. When he sat back down she didn't object and they didn't speak for quite some time. Olivia took the time to reflect on the evenings events.

_He never even bothered to go home first to shower and shave, instead he came straight to me. I am being a bitch to him aren't I? She thought_.

_Cut him a lot more slack that you didn't afford me. Your relationship may just survive_. His words rang in her brain like a message flashing in big neon colors.

_If and when we did meet again I was afraid that you would tell me you were engaged or married_. Her own words she had said to him bounced off her brain as well. She didn't want to follow in Kathy Stabler's footsteps. That's what drove her and Dean apart back in 2007. Somehow she had to get a handle on things.

Olivia wished the pounding would stop vibrating so loudly in her head, the colors flashing behind her eyes were so blinding. She was getting a headache. Olivia wasn't used to anyone caring so much for her as Dean did and he still wants too. He was afraid to say anything, just sitting there in silence seemed like heaven to him because they weren't shouting at each other and she wasn't slapping him.

_I guess I did deserve the slap, we say things we don't mean in the heat of the moment he thought to himself_. This was the meltdown finally coming over Elliot leaving and everything else she's kept bottled up inside...the interview room that night after the Rodriguez/Martinez blown case, you name it. If her arms could have moved instead of being frozen in hurt that night she probably would have slapped him then. Olivia finally broke the ice.

"It looks like you could use another shower." He scrunched his brows and nodded in agreement with her.

"I didn't want to put any more time between us so I just came straight here. I'm sorry if I offended you with my odor." He made a move to get up and collect his coat from the back of the couch. He crossed in front of her.

"Will you take my call when I call you later or is this really over?" She sat crossed legged with a throw pillow on her chest.

"The bathroom is that way." She pointed her thumb in the direction of the bathroom staring at the floor.

"You sure you don't mind?"

"I don't mind."

"I know you dry clean your suits but if you give me your underwear and shirt I can wash them so you'll have something somewhat clean to put back on until you get home and also there's a spare tooth brush in the left hand drawer of the vanity."

She followed him to the doorway of her room.

"Thanks, appreciate that." He said. "The motel had these travel size brushes, I broke mine, it was no bigger than my finger," he said showing her the size of his finger.

"Chewed a lot of breath mints and I even dumped my pack of breath mints into my water bottle to use as mouth wash." She nodded in disbelief at the Bureau for leaving their agents high and dry.

"Surprising no one from the Bureau came and brought you all any of the essentials since your case was extended. What do they think, you've had caveman training?" She said waiting outside the bathroom for his clothes.

"They don't think that's the whole problem with the FBI bigwigs Liv. When were out on surveillance, it's everyone for himself/herself." The bathroom door was left ajar and she could hear him taking off his clothes and reaching to turn on the water.

When Olivia heard the curtain slide open and Dean get in, she went in to retrieve his clothes. Neither one knew what was going to happen next. She bent over to pick up his clothes and he drew the curtain open attempting to step out with his hair thickly lathered with her shampoo.

"Oh god I'm sorry, I was just going to take these down to the laundry room."

"Thanks…" Dean wasn't sure how to feel. "Can you…reach me the bar of soap?"he said pointing.

"And would you mind if I borrowed your razor too? I forgot to grab them when I got in." he said rubbing his five day stubble.

She stared a little longer than she intended to at his unclad body. Dean didn't seem to mind, he was rather modest, after all she has seen him naked before.

"Sure," she said a little nervously giving him the soap and razor not looking at him.

"Thanks appreciate it and I'll clean out my hairs that get stuck…you know in here," he said trying to lighten the mood by showing her between the blades.

"Yes I'm well aware of how little hairs get stuck there," Olivia's lips curled slightly upwards into a mini smile as she looked him in the eyes fighting the urge to look down. He was quite funny looking with a full white head. Even when she was at her worst with him his cuteness always seemed to get to her.

"Just go back," she said pointing to the steamy shower behind him. "And…finish your shower." Her smile was determined to broaden and she had a hard time concealing it.

He was finished showering and had just the towel around him. He called out for her as he entered into the living room. Must still be downstairs in the laundry room, he said.

Olivia returned and saw him sitting on her couch with the towel wrapped around him. "That's better." she said.

"I feel so much better, thank you."

"You know I ran across a t-shirt of yours when I was spring cleaning a few years back, hang on I'll get it for you."

"I was going to put this is in the mail but never got around to it," she said handing him the black t-shirt. Dean looked at it and knew immediately it was not his. The color would be something he would wear but the shirt was definitely not his.

He pondered for a few seconds whether or not to tell her but since they were speaking civil to one another why rock the boat? Who knows how she would react? Already had one hurricane blow through, no need to have another one.

"What's wrong?" she asked noticing his look.

"Nothing, I was just feeling a little chill, that's all." She sat down beside him while he put on her ex-boyfriend's shirt.

Shit! That's not his shirt, she said now realizing why he looked at it funny. I hope he doesn't think I did that on purpose. "Are you hungry?" she said jumping up heading to the kitchen.

"Yeah as a matter of fact I am, are you?" He was pulling at the t-shirt, a little too small in the chest and arms as he followed her.

"I have a headache and I need to take some ibuprofen. Simon and Lucy sent home leftovers when they learned that you were working through Thanksgiving, I'll heat them up."

"You like candied yams?"

"Yes, I like everything." Why did I even bother to ask Olivia chuckled to herself.

"I feel bad eating in front of you." he said. She popped two pills in her mouth and took a big gulp of her water.

"You haven't had a proper meal in five days so you're eating!" she was talking to him like a mother now. "After my headache subsides I'll have pie with you. There's two slices each of pumpkin cheesecake and apple. He never did forget your sweet tooth."

"How's he doing?"

"Great, they married. He has it all, family, a dog, well minus the white picket fence." Dean watched her and he knew how much she wanted to have a family, a sense of belonging; she said to him when they were dating a few years ago. If they had stayed together they probably would have been married with a couple of kids by now.

"Dean." She said quietly. He looked over at her. He suddenly felt a lump in his throat and a knot in his stomach.

"Yeah." She started towards him.

"I'm really sorry about earlier. I was wrong for my behavior and I shouldn't have slapped you and I'm so sorry." She bowed her head as he saw a tear drip onto the floor.

"Olivia." He came and scooped her into his arms hugging her tight. Her head lay against his chest as her sobs soaked into the t-shirt. He rested his head on top of hers crying with her.

The microwave dinged pulling them apart. He wiped at his eyes as she did hers. The both sighed looking at one another somberly.

"I never stopped loving you and I never will." He said full of emotion. She closed her eyes putting her head back and when she opened her eyes they were wet. She tucked her lips in blinking a few times.

"Part of me never stopped loving you either." She said as her voice quivered.

"Let me have that part again. Give me all of your heart Liv and you'll never want for love." He stepped closer to her studying her face, running his fingers across her cheek. His eyes were glassy as he swallowed hard, his adam's apple practically jumping through his skin. Dean held her face in his hands and kissed her fully on the mouth. Olivia's arms went around him as if a gust of wind swept under them. They stood holding one another for several moments.

"Your food's getting cold," she managed a little laugh through her feeling of emotion as she pulled away from his embrace. Her nose was red and her eyes were tired and red.

Dean practically scarfed down his food then put down his fork throwing up his hands in surrender. He couldn't eat another bite.

"That was so good," he said patting his stomach. I'll have to give him them a call to thank them, it was sure nice of them."

"Yes it was." She collected his plate, rinsing it and sticking it in the dish washer. "Your clothes are probably finished washing so I'll go throw them in the dryer."

"I will you sit."

"You're going down there dressed like that?" He looked at his towel.

"Uh I guess not."

"You'll have every woman in this building yelling perv at the site of you. Go sit, make yourself comfortable and make room for your dessert."

"Oh Liv I can't eat any pie right now, I'm completely stuffed to the gills. You need to sit too and get rid of your headache."

"I will, I'll lie down as soon as I get back."

"You had a text message come in on your phone," Dean told her when she returned.

"Oh yeah," she looked at the phone and smiled.

"Is it work? You don't normally smile when work calls you after hours."

"No it's from Calvin." Dean felt completely in the dark. She filled him in.

"That's great you two keep in touch. He sounds like a great kid despite his upbringing and home life he had before."

"You two should meet." Another text came in from Calvin.

"He like sports?"

"I think basketball." She read more of the text to Dean. "He says he's going to be in the city for a few days at Christmas." Olivia was replying back tapping her screen fast smiling.

"Too bad not hockey." Dean said. Olivia waited for Calvin's reply. She smiled at Dean as she read it to him.

"Nope he likes Hockey. He's a Rangers fan."

"I like this kid already!" He said happily. She put her phone back on the counter and headed back to her bedroom. She turned around when she noticed he wasn't behind her.

"You coming?" she said looking at him. He got up and followed her. She got under the covers and Dean was standing at the foot of the bed.

"Lay with me, I just want you to hold me."

"Nothing finer I can think of doing." He lay down beside her with one arm underneath her neck and the other draped across her stomach. It wasn't long after when he heard her snoring very lightly exhaling tiny little puffs of air.

Olivia awoke in the middle of the night. She turned over watching Dean sleep. They had fallen asleep when Olivia had only planned to rest her headache.

Her alarm clock read 5:15 a.m. so she slid out of bed as carefully as she could so not to disturb him and went downstairs to the laundry to retrieve his shirt and underwear. He was in the bathroom using it when she returned.

"Forgot all about these," she said handing him his boxer briefs and wrinkled shirt. His suit coat, pants and tie were laid over the chair in her room.

"You leaving now?" she asked.

"I guess so since I'm up."

"Stay for a cup of coffee first?" she asked.

"Yeah sure." Olivia went out and started the coffee then came back and took her shower. Dean took his phone off silent and viewed the text messages that came in overnight and new voice mails. Olivia emerged from her room in her robe with her wet smelling delightfully fresh from her shower.

She brought over two cups of coffee and sat with him on the sofa. He finished sending the reply to whomever and tucked his phone into his pocket.

"Thanks," he said smiling at her.

"We were both so tired last night," she said sipping slowly.

"You were out in like five minutes after lying down."

"Still am." She said. He looked over at her. She was beautiful in the morning as she was at night.

"I think I could take a nap as long as Rip VanWinkle."

"You'll be older than me when you wake up," she said grinning at him.

"You want to dinner tonight?" he asked.

"If I'm lucky enough to get out there at a reasonable time then yes let's do dinner."

"Great I'll make reservations."

"La Tratoria's?" she asked arching her brows. He smiled at her suggestion. La Tratoria's was where they had their first date back in 2007. She smiled at him and it was such a welcome sight to her smile her trademark flash.

"La Tratoria's," he said matching her smile. They sat and chit chatted for a little bit until both cups were drained.

Dean got up and took her cup placing them in the sink. She was waiting for him, stretching and yawning when he came back to grab his suit coat, trench coat, tie and slip his shoes on. She walked him to the door.

"Thank you," he said.

"No thank you Dean." Olivia lifted her face to meet his lips and kissed him good bye well maybe good morning first then good bye.

"See you tonight," he said smiling, giving her a light kiss on her cheek

"Tonight." She smiled back at him.

Olivia caught a new case that day so she and Dean had to postpone dinner. They eventually went out on their dinner date two nights later and afterwards he suggested they go back to his apartment for a night cap.

They made passionate love as if they were intent on getting into each other's skin. They lay in the middle of his bed, caressing one another, their mouths on top of one another, their tongues thrashing about.

When Olivia felt his fingers probing at her swollen opening she shifted her weight underneath him and murmured loudly in his ear. She came quickly at the mercy of his fingers massaging her magic spot. Dean's tongue bathed her puffy clit.

She rolled him over before he had the chance to get in between her knees, she perched herself onto his lap reaching for his cock. He reached down and guided his tool into her slick hole.

Olivia writhed and gyrated her hips over his manhood as he filled her up completely. Her hands rested on his chest as she lifted herself up and down on his thick rod. She was close to releasing her juices a second time as she groaned loudly throwing her head back. Dean lifted his arms and grabbed Olivia's hands holding them as she rocked on his cock.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered, gazing at her.

"You feel good." she said almost out of breath. Dean sat up and buried his head into her chest nibbling and sucking on her firm globes.

"Mmmm," Olivia said through clenched teeth. "Yes…yeah…oohoooh," she wimpered. "I'mmm coming!…Ohhhhh!"

Dean stroked her back as she shimmied on his cock tightening her walls around him. They embraced until her climax was over then he rolled her gently putting her on her back maneuvering himself over on top of her kissing her sweetly.

She closed her eyes when she felt his member press on her folds urging his way in. Once the tip of his dick was past the guards he plunged sinking deeper and deeper into her love canal. Dean worked up a good sweat thrusting in and out of vagina.

Olivia was on her second climax as Dean was experiencing his first. These were new condoms he was trying out since the first ones that Olivia found in her bathroom gave him an allergic reaction and after ejaculating his load into the latex he felt a stinging sensation after he disposed of it and knew right away it wouldn't matter what prophylactic device he choose he was allergic to latex ruber.

Olivia confessed that she had only slept with one man since meeting Dean and he told her he hadn't been intimate with anyone after her.

She was upfront with him in the beginning that she preferred the au natural feel of his penis but they practiced standard sex rules since not having been intimate for two years.

"You're allergic to them," she said watching him walk back to the bed funny and quickly. "I'm sorry Dean."

"It's alright the guy at the clinic when I gave blood suggested this over the counter cream and it helped the first time so it'll help the second time now." Dean rubbed in the ointment.

"It's feels cold and hot, sorry Olivia no sex for the next forty eight hours." He feigned a frown.

"Oh Dean what am I going to do without your manliness inside me for forty eight hours? You know I just have to have you every second of the day," she said pouting at him sarcastically.

"Time to get a toy to hold you over?"

"Yeah you'd like that but n-o." she said grinning at him. He stuck out his bottom lip looking at her climbing back into bed.

"No more condoms doesn't that you make you happy?" she asked.

"Estatic. He propped himself up on his elbow tracing the softness under her bottom lip then leaning in to kiss her. Olivia was quiet all of a sudden staring at nothing.

"Liv what's wrong?" She tightened the sheet that covered her and folder her hands placing them on her stomach.

"I'll have to go back on the pill now."

"When did you stop taking it? He asked.

"Two years ago. I'd given up on having a promising relationship after you." Dean looked sullenly at her.

"Well now you have a promising relationship.

"It's looking good so far," she said smiling taking his hand and caressing it.

"I'm going to ask for a transfer Liv."

"What? Why?"

"Not out of New York but to a different division with the Bureau. It's time I stopped moving about and have a nine to five job."

"Nine to five huh? There's no such thing as that with the FBI but I think it's great. What made you want to do this?"

"I've been thinking about it for a while. These old bones are feeling it, with lugging a suitcase, a laptop, sleeping in uncomfortable and unfamiliar beds and lousy room service or no room service at all plus this last case said it all."

"Where are you going to transfer to?"

"There's a position opening up for the assistant director of field operations here in Manhattan. Chet Campbell is leaving to head up the Tampa Bay office."

"Did I meet him?"

"Yep at the company picnic in July 2007."

"I like him, why couldn't he be your boss?"

"Well technically he is one, but Dave, Mike and Jim are my immediate supervisors."

"Jim will be you nemesis at trying for this promotion, you know that right? He's such a god damn prick."

"I know baby but I've been lining up my ducks all in a row so I have really good chance of getting it." Olivia let the term of endearment sink in. He used to refer to her as baby before and it had been two years since she heard him call her that. Did their relationship just get kicked up to another level she thought?

"You have my support." She touched his face lightly letting her finger nails slid to his chin looking lovingly into his eyes. They met half way for a long kiss.

It was a little over a month now since Dean re-entered her life. Technically they had been an item for almost two weeks now but only to their knowledge.

Olivia, Nick, Amanda and Fin were having lunch upstairs in the precinct laughing and joking about the day's events with the Wall Street protestors when Captain Cragen interrupted their lunch.

"Sorry to interrupt the lunch but a protestor just showed up down stairs claiming she's been attacked." The foursome looked over the rail at the young girl sitting beside Olivia's desk.

"Olivia you and Amanda get her story. Fin, Amaro, you two get downtown and canvas the area. Find out anything you can, who saw what, when where."

"We're on it captain," Fin said.

After a long day two days of interviewing and re-interviewing the victim and following dead end leads, Olivia finally set foot in her apartment with an hour left in the day. She felt like drawing a bath and soaking until the sun came up. She took her phone out and called Dean.

"I saw that on the news. Any truth to it or is she grandstanding to divert attention away from the protestors?" he asked.

"Oh she was raped alright; we just don't have a perp yet."

"You sound exhausted."

"I am but I wanted to call you to say good night and sorry I couldn't call you back today."

"That's alright, there's going to be days like that again. I've got something fun for us to do tomorrow."

"What?"

"Can't say."

"Oh aren't you just Mr. Surprise."

"That I am, just love to see you happy and smiling Liv." She smiled against the receiver of her phone and a few seconds of silence followed.

"Good night Dean."

"Night Olivia."

Olivia was awakened in the wee hours by her partner calling telling her that their victim was dead. She rolled out of bed half asleep threw on clothes, hopefully they matched and met detective Amaro at the scene.

She had to cancel her day with Dean because she was going to be at the precinct most of the day and probably all evening finding the hump that was responsible for raping her and possible murdering her as well.

When she got home that evening she saw the tree in the corner. It hadn't been decorated yet but it smelled of fresh pine. That must have been his surprise she said as she admired the tree. What a guy, she thought.

Her phone lit up vibrating with his reply. You're very welcome but that was only half of it…to be continued tomorrow (I hope) sweet dreams Liv Good night.

Olivia thought she could get a jump on this case by going in early on a Sunday morning. She noticed Nick's computer was but hibernating and his coffee cup was half full. She looked around, flipped on her computer and went to the crib. He was asleep when she peeked in. Two hours later Nick came downstairs.

"When did you get in?"

"When you were snoring."

"I don't snore." He snickered in disbelief.

"Oh, ok."

"I want to catch this prick."

"Yeah me too, he's getting under my skin," Nick told her. They worked for most of the afternoon until Nick called it quits for the day. His daughter had called him at least ten times during the morning and afternoon.

"I'm sorry Olivia, I just haven't seen my kid in the past three days and I promised to take her ice skating at Rockefeller and since it's a schoo-"

"Amaro you don't have to explain, go I'll finish this up then I'm going to go home myself."

"You sure Olivia?"

"Yes now go, go have fun with your daughter before it gets to where she barely recognizes you."

"Alright, call me if you get a lead."

"Good night detective." Olivia said peering through their notes tapping her pencil against the side of her head.

Fin and Amanda walked in about a few hours later.

"What you do sleep here last night?" Fin asked coming close to her desk.

"No, I got in this morning."

"Liv go on home Rollins and I got this shift tonight."

"There's something I'm missing, the guy from the grandstand that day told us he didn't know our vic, but look at this picture." Amanda and Fin took a close look at the photograph.

"Yeah but Liv they could have just been at the same place at the same time this picture doesn't prove they had a relationship. Any skell is going to point that out." Amanda said.

"I just know they know one another, we just need something else."

"Liv come on, we'll call you and Amaro if we get something. He went home and so should you."

"Ok I'm going. Call, ok." She put on her jacket and left but not before pulling out her phone and calling Dean.

"Great I'll be by to pick you up." He said.

They enjoyed a nice dinner which didn't require Olivia having to get dressed up. The second half his surprise was just enfolding. He parked in a side street garage and they walked to Rockefeller Center.

"Oh my god Dean I haven't ice skated in years. I'll break my ankles trying to skate."

"Relax Olivia just hang onto me. What better way to get into the holiday spirit that taking a skate at Rockefeller Center and look it's starting to flurry." Olivia soon remembered that her partner was going to be here with his daughter and she became a bit nervous.

Olivia was a private person and that's how she would have preferred to have kept her relationship with Dean except that detective Amaro saw his partner getting on the ice, with Olivia holding on to Dean for dear life.

He circled the ice with his daughter catching up to them along the boards.

"Hey Olivia, hey Dean." Olivia had the look of like she had "been caught" when Nick came up on her with Dean.

"Hey Nick and who is this pretty little girl?" Dean asked smiling down at her.

"I'm Zara, do you work with my daddy?"

"No sweet heart I don't but this lovely lady does." Dean said.

"Yeah, sorry she tends to be quite the social lite in our family." Nick added.

"Olivia this is my daughter Rachel. Rachel this is detective Olivia Benson, my partner and this special agent Dean Porter, Olivia's friend."

_Olivia's friend? Oh for peats sake just say it Nick because I know I'm going to have a rash of questions from you as to why I'm here with Dean tomorrow at work, Olivia thought out loud_.

"You don't know how to ice skate Olivia?" Zara asked her with big brown eyes surveying Olivia's.

"I used to a very long time ago but I forgot how to," Olivia said winking at the little girl.

"It's easy you just put your foot out in front of you and push off with your other foot." Zara was a few feet in front of them skating on her own when a teenage boy skating too fast knocked into her, knocking her to the ice. Her cry was a delayed reaction as her father rushed over to help her calm down as well as two rink guards.

"It's ok honey, let's go take a break and get some hot chocolate. The young boy felt bad so he stayed until Rachel got up on her feet.

"Just take it easy with the little ones out here man, ok?"

"Yes sir, sorry again." The boy said and skated away.

"Well I guess will let you guys continue your skate. See you later Olivia, Dean."

"Bye and it was nice meeting you Zara," Olivia said.

"Yes nice meeting you Zara." Dean added.

"Nice meeting you both too. Remember Olivia, one foot in front and push off with the other." Rachel kindly reminded her as she and her dad left. Olivia and Dean finished their skate and Olivia even managed to do a couple's only skate with Dean, squeezing his hand extra tight.

They got hot cocoa and Olivia rubbed her feet complaining of how sore they were.

"I'll give you a foot massage later but you did good Liv, think you'll go with me again?"

"Maybe, depends on how good my foot massage is," she said with a flirtatious grin. They walked back to the parking garage and soon they were at her apartment.

"What's in the bag?" she asked.

"I bought a box just to see how they look and their purple too. We can get more through the week."

"Oh I love em. You're so thoughtful, come here." She put her arms around him leaning up to kiss him.

"This is our first Christmas together so I thought why not have a tree? I remember you telling me when we first met you didn't have a tree every year growing up." She withdrew her arms form around him.

"Nope my mother thought that bottles of liquor were better spent with her money than to have a Christmas tree," Olivia said sadly twirling an ornament watching her reflection on it.

"We'll that's all going to change now Liv." Dean came up and wrapped his arms around her waist resting his head on her shoulder. They finished putting the box of purple ornaments on then looked at one another.

"I owe you a foot massage." He said.

"Later, I'm thinking of something else you can do." She led him by the hand to her room.

"Your beautiful Liv, I love making love to you." he whispered tenderly kissing her breasts as he penetrated her.

"And I you," she said lifting her hips to meet his thrust, pressing her hands into his back and giving his head then shoulder a sweet kiss.

It was a week before Christmas and Olivia was getting excited to see Calvin and for Dean to meet him. They had just returned back to his apartment after taking in a holiday Broadway play and enjoyed a night cap before retiring for the night.

"Hey I was thinking," he said unbuttoning the top button on his dress shirt and removing his tie.

Olivia was washing her face when she heard him come in behind her to use the bathroom.

"What were you thinking?"

"Do you think Calvin would like to see a hockey game while he's here?"

"Yeah he probably would. I'll call his grandparents and clear it with them first before asking him."

Next morning Dean was debating which tie to wear when Olivia walked past giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"I like the light blue paisley one myself with that shirt." She reached for her toothbrush.

"Me too, my girlfriend bought this for me last week."

"Girlfriend huh, is that what I am now, not your lady friend as you introduced me at your Christmas party last week."

"You could be something else?" Olivia looked at him puzzled.

"Something else…a bitch?" She spit out the toothpaste and rinsed her mouth good.

"Olivia! No that's not what I was thinking at all."

"I'm just joking, so what were you thinking?"

"Uh-huh I'm not giving away all my secrets." He said backing up and then falling down onto his bed when the backs of his knees touched the mattress causing him to lose his balance.

"Olivia, please don't do that." She climbed on top of him kissing him softly.

"Do what, do this?" Before when they dated, she could always get it out of him by kissing him seductively but he wasn't budging this time. This had to be thought out constructively he thought.

The three left Madison Square Garden with a jubilant New York Rangers crowd. The team won hands down with a shut of a rival team.

""Wow that was an awesome game! That other team sucks!" Calvin said. Dean motioned to the men's room that he had go. Calvin said he was fine so he and Olivia waited outside for Dean to finish.

"Dean's really cool Olivia and he knows so much about sports and he likes comics. He really likes you Olivia."

"He's a great guy and I'm glad you two hit off. How did I know sports would be the bridge to your union?"

"Our what?"

"Never mind." She mussed his hair with her hand. Dean came out and they headed back to Calvin's hotel.

"Thanks for a great day and the Christmas presents. It was nice meeting you Dean, thanks for taking me to the game."

"You bet pal and there's still another half of a season left. Olivia's told me so much about you, I'm really glad I got to meet you." The two shook hands then Calvin hugged Olivia good bye as his grandparents came out of the elevator.

Olivia read the text that came from Calvin as she and Dean were on their way home.

Dean's really into you & I bet you two get married. Olivia closed the text messaging screen and Dean caught her smiling wide.

"Who was that?"

"Calvin, he really had a great time with us."

"I can see why he's so special Liv, he's a great kid. You've definitely made an impact with him." She nodded looking straight ahead.

Two weeks later Christmas day-

Dean and Olivia were invited to go over to his brother's place for a gift exchange and dinner but first they wanted to have their own gift exchange.

It was snowing. Their tree was complete with colored ornaments, lights, silver and gold garland and an angel perched on top.

Olivia's favorite thing to do when she came home from a long day of work was to sit in front of the tree completely in the dark. She would soon wake up in the middle of the night only to find herself on her sofa and the tree still lit.

"Oh Dean it's beautiful!" Olivia said as she slipped it on her finger admiring it.

"I didn't know what to get you in the line of jewelry because you have so much so I hope you like it."

"I love it, thank you." He gave her an 18k ring with her birthstone and two diamonds that surrounded the gem on each side, a black pea coat with a hounds tooth scarf, leather gloves and a sexy negligee and a $100.00 gift card to Bloomingdales.

Olivia gave Dean two new ties an engraved tie clip with his initials. A history book on the civil war he had been waiting for to come out, a new bottle of his favorite cologne, a pair of jeans and nice ¼ zip up pull over sweater in his favorite color.

The following week New Year's Eve 2011.

Dean rented a limo and picked Olivia up. He couldn't take his eyes off her. She wore a red strapless Diane Von Frostenburg cocktail dress with a matching shaw she found at her favorite boutique for more than half the price the dress was originally priced for.

Dean had booked them a room overlooking the Manhattan skyline. They dined on the finest food and wine. They danced all evening and when they weren't dancing they were cuddled up at their corner table.

Olivia was quite tipsy well before the ball was going to drop. She told Dean she needed to get some air because she was feeling very hot and her stomach was queezy. Once outside and feeling a little cooler she made her excuse to hurry to the bathroom.

"It must be all the wine I've had and I didn't eat much today either." She said coming out of the ladies room wiping at her mouth. I love these fancy bathrooms that have the little bowls of mints because Lord knows I need one," she said popping one into her mouth.

"Are you feeling any better honey?"

"A little, would you mind if we just went back to our room and watched the rest of the night's festivities from there?"

"No of course not, come on." Happy New year Olivia."

"Happy New Year Dean." They kissed softly as the New Year was upon them. Car horns, chatter and laughter could be heard by party goers littering Times Square.

Dean had received word a week into the New Year that he had been chosen for the assistant director's position.

"That's terrific baby, I'm so proud of you, we'll celebrate tonight."

"Ohhhh I can hardly wait." He said, overly excited his life seemed to be coming full circle with meeting Olivia again and things were so great between them.

Olivia met him at the door with a passionate kiss that had been waiting on her lips ever since he had told her the news. She attempted to make him a surprise/congratulatory dinner of his favorite but one whif of the salmon made her run to the bathroom. Olivia still wasn't feeling well since last week. She barely touched the take out they ordered.

"Baby why don't you make an appointment with your doctor? It's flu season you know."

"Yeah I'm going to." She said.

Dean had started his new position and had just got underway his first meeting as assistant director of field operations when his secretary buzzed in.

"Olivia Benson for you on line one," she said.

"Can you tell her I'll call her back?"

"Sure but she said it was important." Dean made his excuses to take the call at his phone on his desk affording him a little privacy then at the conference table.

"Liv honey what's wrong….?"

Dean walked into the waiting area and sat down next to Olivia. She was numb to his touch as he put his arm around her and kissed the side of her head. His eyes already wet from their conversation on his way there, welled up again as soon as he saw her sitting there.

"I'm so sorry Liv." In her hand were balled up tissues. Moments later the nurse called them back to see the doctor.

"I realize this is very hard for both of you and it probably won't make you feel better when I tell you I see this all the time." Olivia couldn't face what the doctor was telling her, it was the most heart wrenching news any pregnant woman could endure.

Her eyes were glazed over as she looked off the side. Dean looked away from the doctor to glance sideways at Olivia.

"The ultra sound confirmed there had been fetal demise." Olivia took another tissue from the box the doctor had pushed closer to her and wiped at her eyes and underneath her nose. Dean watched her, his heart breaking in a million and one pieces.

"You know one in five pregnancies ends in a miscarriage." The Dr. looked at both of them before continuing. "It's nature's way of saying the fetus would have been unable to survive outside the womb."

Dean's words were hitched in his throat as he spoke.

"Why, um…I mean how…I don't understand."

"You don' find out why. Birth control and other contraceptive methods are not one hundred percent fool proof. Olivia just happened to be in that two percentile that happened to become pregnant on a rare occasion."

"The pill is the most trusted and accurate form of birth control." The doctor didn't want to say that Olivia's pregnancy was most likely the result of her missing a pill one day and having intercourse or perhaps not taking them at the same time every day which women are highly advised to.

"But the thing for you both right now is to give yourselves time, to grieve, because it is a loss."

"You were already planning, thinking of it as a baby when it really hadn't developed and after you given yourselves time, when you're ready you can start thinking about starting again." The doctors words echoed in Dean's head so loud they seemed drowned out.

But we weren't planning on having a child just yet, I mean down the road kids were in the picture, after we got married or before. Olivia was just going to the doctor for the flu, Dean said to himself. Why God, why her? Why us. You know how desperately she wants a child. You're supposed to help us not hurt us.

"The next time you're pregnant you'll have about a twenty five percent chance of carrying the baby to full term given your age Olivia." The doctor opened his drawer and pulled out a couple of pamphlets.

"Have you thought of adoption or having a surrogate mother carry for you?" Dean looked at Olivia who continued to sit in silence still reeling from the hurt and numbness.

"No we haven't," Dean said looking at Olivia then back to the doctor.

"The medic-" Dean's words got caught in his throat as he swallowed.

"The medication she took for the flu, the stress she's been under because of her job, the alcohol, we didn't know." Dean said.

"We can't explain these things Mr. Porter. I'm sorry; I know it would be easier if we could. You have any other questions?" Dean lightly nudged Olivia who remained stoned faced throughout the consult with the doctor.

"We could do the d and c now or schedule it for tomorrow?" the doctor asked.

"Today," Olivia said very empty.

After her procedure they drove back to her apartment with not much conversation. Dean asked her if she wanted to go back to her place or his place, she opted for hers.

"Ok I just need to stop by my place and pick up clothes." She nodded, steady staring out her window.

She waited in the car while he ran in. When they arrived at her place she took one of the valium and one of the demerol the ob-gyn gave her. Dean brought her a glass of water and sat down with her on the couch and Olivia finally said more than two words since leaving the doctor's office.

"I may have missed taking a pill one day, I can't remember. This just wasn't meant to be," she said sadly blotting her eyes with the tissue.

"Olivia that's not true. It doesn't matter that you skipped taking your pill, Liv please I beg you, DO NOT blame yourself. The doctor said we can try again in two weeks…and we can also look into adopting."

She gave him a sideways glance biting on her lower lip, tears ready to spill at any second. Her voice quivered with emotion.

"I've been down that road before. I'm single, working way too long and I have no family support, I was told." Olivia said.

"I'm your support, what about us together trying to adopt?" Dean told her, reaching for her. She tilted her head sideways and blinked slowly at him.

"Thanks but you work as many hours if not more than I do."

"It's something to revisit again…together." He said rubbing her shoulder.

His phone went off and he pulled the device out of his pocket changing the setting to silent.

"Go ahead and take the call, it's probably your work. You just started this job." She told him.

"I'll take it later, right now I just want to be with you." He pulled her close and she cried burying her head into his neck. They sat in silence for a long time until Olivia felt the urge to get up.

She headed into the kitchen and started to put away the dishes that were in the dishwasher.

"Hey I thought you were supposed to be taking it easy, leave them I'll put them away. Why don't you go in lie down?" Olivia went to the refrigerator and peeked in.

"Dean really I'm ok, you should try valium and demerol, they work instantly. "Maybe you should make a list."

"I can make a list." he said.

"I don't have any eggs for breakfast and milk I forgot to get to milk and bread too, oh and kotex, maxi size."

"Kotex? Liv I can't buy them."

"Sure you can I'll write you a note." It was dead silence as she continued to put away the dishes.

"Olivia." Dean came up behind her and gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze.

"Yes." She turned abruptly, wanting him to erase all of this. They stood in the middle of her kitchen looking at one another. He pushed a thick strand of her hair off to the side.

"We should talk about this when you're ready Liv. Should I call Simon?"

"I don't know, you'll think of something you always do." She moved past him and put away the bowls. Dean carefully took them from her as she watched him.

"I think I'm just gonna go in and lie down." Dean's phone rang.

"Yeah, take a nap." He said. He watched her walk towards her bedroom and then he reached into his pocket.

"Hey John, no everything's ok. What tonight? Uh John I can't tonight my girlfriend had a miscarriage today. Yeah she'll be ok, thanks for your concern. Um…I'm gonna take tomorrow off, you know to be with her, she's taking it kind of hard. Yeah, yeah sure I'll be in Thursday."

Next morning…

"Have you seen my car keys?" He asked Olivia.

"No I haven't, did you check your coat pocket?"

"Honey I thought you were going to stay in bed?" Dean said watching her walk into the bathroom. He checked his coat pocket and sure enough his keys were there.

"I stayed in bed all day yesterday, I need to get up and do something constructive."

"How you feeling?" he said.

"Alright," she said coming out and pilfering through her dresser drawer.

"Yeah?"

"Did you sleep?" Dean asked her.

"I slept, did you?"

"Hmmm. You know Olivia I don't have to go the office today I can call John."

"But I already packed your lunch box," Olivia said making a joke. Dean reached out playfully trying to grab at her.

"Because I don't like the idea of leaving you here by yourself." Dean said.

But that's practically what you did yesterday with the exception of taking a break for an hour to have lunch with me. You spent half your day on your phone and other half on the laptop, she thought.

"I'm not really by myself, Lucy is going to come over on her lunch break. I mean Dean really…everything's ok.

"Does it hurt?"

"Well I have these little cramps, but it's not so bad. It's kinda like a period.

"Ok then you're sure about my leaving?" he said.

"Dean, go to work please."

"Ok, I'll call you. So, alright, ok, ok sweetie." He leaned in and kissed her on the lips. It was awkward for both.

"Bye." She said. Olivia looked down at the bed clutching her clothes to her chest as he left, then she headed for the shower.

There was a knock on Dean's office door. Good morning how's everything with Olivia?" his senior boss asked.

"She's ok."

"Really? Hey go home man be with her."

"She doesn't want me at home."

"So did you tell anybody...about the miscarriage?" Dean asked his boss.

"Oh yeah everyone man, later on there's going to be a party with a sympathy cake with hats and balloons." He patted Dean on his shoulder and gave him a supportive squeeze. "Dean I can cover for yo-"

"No John that's ok thanks I just want to dig in." As hard as Dean tried he couldn't hide his sadness.

Olivia took a call from Simon who called to check on his big sister.

"No Dean just stepped out to run an errand, he'll be right back. Yeah I know she called, that's good I'm looking forward to having her over. Ok I'll call you later. Bye Simon and thanks for calling."

Olivia fixed some oatmeal and stared at the bowl contemplating what would have been. The birth, bringing baby Benson-Porter home, the first birthday etc…Later she attempted to read a book and dozed off.

A knocking at the door woke Olivia up.

"Hi, come in." Olivia said half smiling. Lucy entered with a floral arrangement. The two women hugged.

"I'm so sorry Liv, these things are never easy but in time it does get better. Is there anything I can do for you? Here these are for you." Olivia stared at the beautiful display. She teared up reading the card attached.

"Thank you they're beautiful," Olivia said putting the pretty floral arrangement on the coffee table.

"So where's Dean?"

"He's at work he started his new position last week but don't tell Simon, he called earlier and I told him he was running an errand. I don't want him to be mad at Dean for not being here. It's a really important promotion for him with the Bureau."

"That's great!" Lucy added.

"Yeah…yeah."

"Couldn't he have gone in tomorrow or the next day?" Lucy asked.

"He just started and he's so excited about his new position."

"Yeah except that now you're here." She said.

"Well I wanted him to keep busy; it's easier…for him." Olivia said.

"Well what about for you? Wouldn't it be easier for you if he were here with you?" Lucy asked.

"I'm fine really. You know, I know it's pretty terrible but it happens all the time. You know a friend of mine lost her baby a year ago and now she's pregnant again."

"Right…Lucy sighed looking at her sister-in-law with deep concern. "So you want to go out for lunch?"

"No, no thanks I'm just going to stick around here finish some work I need to revisit." Olivia said fixing the stalks so they look spread out in the vase that was obviously too small for them.

"We can order in…no ifs ands or buts." Lucy told her.

"Ok." Olivia agreed.

"You know if you put three pennies in there they'll last longer," Lucy told her getting the take out menu from the kitchen drawer.

Olivia thought…pennies huh?

That evening Dean came through the lobby doors and found Olivia getting her mail. "Hi," he said leaning and kissing her on the cheek.

"You found me." Olivia said.

"You left a trail." Dean said. They climbed the stairs to her apartment.

"How was lunch with Lucy?"

"It was good." She said walking ahead of him putting the key in the door and entering. She shuffled through the mail then put it down heading over to the chair, all the while Dean's eyes were on her.

He hung his coat on the coat rack and took off his suit coat draping it over the back of the sofa. He noticed the colorful spray of flowers and thought how lovely of her brother and his wife.

"So how was your first day back?"

"No how are you? I tried to call you eight times today." Dean said sitting with her. She scooted over to make room for him.

"I took the phone off the hook."

"Really," he said sadly. He wrapped his arm around her kissing her temple area.

"I missed you today." He was stroking her hair with the ease.

"And I missed you," she said snuggling closer toying with a button on his dress shirt.

"Promise me…never mind."

"No finish what you were going to say."

"That you'll stay with me like this for about a week." She said.

"I can do that." They kissed sweetly. His phone rang and he started to pull away from her then decided against it and stayed hitched to her mouth. His phone continued to ring and this time Olivia broke their kiss.

"I better answer it Liv."

"No go ahead," she said getting up not doing very well to hide her annoyance. He watched her walk into the kitchen as he took the call.

Friday evening Olivia and Dean planned to have dinner out. All day he glanced at his watch wanting to get out there and home to Olivia. Just as he was packing up getting ready to go home, two of his senior bosses' walked into his office.

John he liked and the feeling was very mutual but Jim was the boss Dean didn't like. Dean answered in one word answers as his senior boss went on and on forever.

"Am I keeping you from a pressing engagement agent Porter?"

"It's just that I have a prior engagement sir." Dean said.

"Go, by all means go, don't let us keep you from your pri-or engagement," he said smirking. Dean grabbed his briefcase and left.

"What's up with Porter, he seems more gloomy than normal?" Jim said looking at John. John got up from his seat walking to the door.

"His girlfriend just had a miscarriage this week." John said leaving not looking back.

"Oh," Jim said from his reclining position taking his feet off Dean's desk and standing up straightening his tie. "When you talk to him again please convey my sympathy."

"Sure." John nodded and walked down the hallway. Smug bastard, Dean isn't the only around here who doesn't care for you and your arrogant ways.

He tried reaching her on her cell but she didn't pick up. Dean was worried so he sped up.

"I'm sorry Olivia, Jim came in as I was leaving." Olivia continued to flip through a magazine sitting on the couch dressed ready to go to dinner.

"Are you ready to go?"

"It's almost eight o'clock Dean, sorry I already ate."

"Wait let me explain Liv."

"I understand." She got up and went into her bedroom. Dean followed.

"The timing of this has been so weird."

"Oh sorry I'll try to plan the next miscarriage better."

"Olivia, now wait a second. Look things are out of control right now, I mean neither one of us has a handle on this. So sometimes…it just, it gets hard trying to figure out priorities."

"No your priority is your new job!"

"So what did you want me to do? I couldn't be in two places at once."

"Of course not." she said.

"Ok so I have to work harder because I have a lot more responsibilities than before and if I don't do a good job then I'm out you understand that right?"

"Wait a minute!" he said as Olivia turned to walk away and he grabbed at her elbow and she gave him a look of don't ever do that.

"Fine go ahead excel at it, what do you want me to say?" Olivia barked at him.

"Look, I know it's not that simple." He said.

"No! You make it simple. You couldn't be home on time because your asshole of a boss walked into your office at the end of the day. You couldn't say excuse me but I have to leave because I have appointment."

"If you walked into his office he would leave without a problem. You can't speak up for yourself, afraid that you're going to lose your job!"

"Liv that's not fair!" Dean said glaring at her.

"No it is that, those are your priorities, job, money, family in that order and that doesn't include throwing sports in the mix."

"Those are not my priorities! Dammit Olivia, see you don't even know my priorities. I have responsibilities. Don't make a face at me Olivia."

"So I get a promotion that I want, a chance to breathe again then your damn right I'm going to work hard at it. We wouldn't have to worry about what a new baby costs or what a new baby needs, everything that goes with a new baby."

"We don't have a new baby." Olivia said sadly.

"But we were going to." Dean said barely audible.

"And the baby's assets outweighed its liabilities!"

"No Olivia that's not what I'm saying."

"No fine, fine this is a bad time for me too, I didn't want this baby either!" she blew past him and left the apartment. Dean put his hands on his head throwing his head back sighing heavily. The wetness in his eyes was evident.

He went in search of her.

He called her over and over but she didn't answer her phone. When she finally made it home he found her in the bedroom in the dark under the covers.

Next morning as they both dressed for work they made small talk. "I'm gonna go now Liv."

"Ok."

"I'll call you later." Dean said.

"Yeah ok," she said. He came close to her and hesitated before kissing her on her cheek.

"Good bye Liv."

"Bye."

It was almost four o' clock and Dean made his excuses to John and left the office early.

"You're home early," Olivia said stirring what was in the pot on the stove.

"I'm home early." Dean said coming into the kitchen.

"What now?" she said.

"I uh, think I did something wrong Liv. I'm just not exactly sure what it was.

"What do you think it is?"

"I think I left you somehow, I don't know."

"Well I wish, I wish you'd been here."

"You acted like you wanted me to go."

"I wanted you to choose….to…but you'd rather stay?"

"It was just easier to be there."

"Away from me?" She simmered the pot and walked past him to the chair.

"No, no just…just to be, you know, to be in a place you know where there were empty drawers to fill up and um all these people with expectations and I could worry about not failing because that's easier to worry about."

He plopped down on the ottoman in front of her.

"Because if I worried about, you know….oh God." Dean dropped his head in his hands, his tears had no barriers.

"It's just…I just wanted this baby so much…I just really wanted this baby Olivia. So I had to just push it away." He said with a very heavy heart.

"Why?"

"I don't know….because there just wasn't room for all that I guess. I haven't even seen you this week."

"No you haven't." she said looking at the floor.

"Tell me," Dean said touching her knee.

"No."

"Please." He begged.

"What? That I feel like a failure. Because…because my body failed."

"It wasn't you Olivia."

"You know and and and I see the way you look at me and I think you blame me." She said letting her tears fall to the floor.

"Ohhhh baby how could I blame you?" He stared at her face searching, his lips quivering, his voice shaky.

Olivia started sobbing heavily.

"Because I let you down, you didn't lose this baby I did. And I I don't want to go through this again. And I don't want to think every time we make love I'm gonna be afraid and I'll think about it."

"It's too soon Liv, it takes time.

"But I don't feel there is time," she said sniffling.

"Shhh." He told her pulling her into him stroking her pony tail.

"Oooooh," she murmured. "I want you to make it all better." She sobbed against his chest

"We'll make another baby." He whispered.

"But it won't be this baby."

"No it won't." he told her. Olivia fell into his arms almost knocking him backwards crying harder.

"I wish we could make love," she said with her head buried into his shoulder. When she pulled away she planted sweet little kisses on his cheek then moved to his mouth.

"You know what the doctor said." He was returning her kisses with his own on her lips.

"Two weeks?" she said sobbing and continuing her sweet assault on his mouth.

"Two weeks." Dean added kissing her back.

"You know what? We could torture each other," he said. Olivia laughed at his suggestion through her tears.

"I just want you to hold me close." She said.

"Ok. It's going to be ok, shhh, I got you."

"I love you so much Dean."

"I love you too Liv."

Chapter 6: Chapter 6

Olivia returned to work that Monday. Everyone was happy to see her return but no one questioned what was wrong, they just chalked it up that she needed some time in the Elliot resignation aftermath and most likely she had the meltdown that she had kept under wraps until she could no longer contain it.

Nick smiled his usual warm smile when she put her things down on her desk. When she opened up her inbox there was several messages. She opened Dean's first.

Because I care, because your being thought about right now, because you are you. I love you so much, Dean.

Olivia clicked reply.

Thank you. Even when you're next to me you're still too far away, I love you too. Liv.

The next one she answered was from Nick. He watched her out of the corner of his eye.

Welcome back Olivia, glad to see you're feeling better. I'm desperately missing those corned beef sandwiches from that deli you introduced me to. How about lunch partner?

Olivia looked over at Nick and gave him a warm smile and mouthed sure.

"Olivia may I see you for a minute?" Her captain said standing in his doorway. Olivia rose and walked into his office.

"Shut the door please." She shut the door.

"Welcome back, you were missed."

"Thanks Captain." Cragen studied her for a moment before speaking.

"Are you alright Olivia?"

"Yes captain I'm fine thanks." He wondered if her absence was related to Elliot but then again he didn't want to press it. She had been managing better the past few months and nicely warming up to the newbies.

"I just wanted to make sure everything was going alright for you, it's been awhile since you've taken consecutive sick days and I'm glad you're feeling better."

Captain Cragen was like the father she never had and she trusted him immensely. Olivia was the only one of the squad to know her captain on a more personal level than any of the others.

They both turned to other things to lessen the pain they suffered through different circumstances, he to the bottle and her to her victims. They shared a bond of loneliness for different reasons.

The unit was a very cohesive group and with Elliot gone it really shook the rafters, the corps losing a legend in Elliot Stabler and the strength the unit built over twelve and half years proved to be the stepping stone they needed to get past this loss.

"Is that all captain?"

"Yes." He said. Olivia hesitated and looked at him before turning to walk out.

"Uh Liv, I noticed you're reopening the Hollendale case. Any particular reason or new witnesses that are coming forth?"

"Captain I just can't let this one go, it's personal."

"Olivia, remember we don't get to pick the vic."

"I know and I'm not but I'm going to bust this hump because in my gut I just know he's guilty."

"Fine, just don't let it take you away from your current cases."

"It won't." She gave him a wan smile and headed out. Cragen watched her go, still wondering where her emotional state lied.

12:45 p.m. Lucciano's Deli.

"This has to be the best corned beef in the Bronx," Nick said with one side of his jaw puffed out chewing on the flavorful meat. Olivia nibbled at her chicken salad sandwich.

"My old partner and I used to come here quite often." She said. Nick took notice of her lack of eating. "Sure you don't want to take an extra one home for dinner?" she asked him as he picked up the loose strands of beef that had fallen out of his sandwich and put them in his mouth licking his fingers.

"No wonder they knew right away to make yours on wheat bread with no pickle," he said smiling at her. She smiled and nodded watching him devour the rest of his lunch.

"You don't even say his name anymore. Come on Olivia what gives?" She stared at him.

"It's just my way of coping with it all." She told him.

"Ok I can understand that. Twelve years is a long time, sometimes we become so close that we're afraid to take the next step. I had a partner for seven years and when he died in the line of duty I was messed up for quite a while."

"I'm not messed up Nick, I'm moving on, which is what we should do," she said looking at her watch.

"Everything's ok right?"

"Yes everything's ok." She said managing a small smile. She was not going to divulge anything to him just yet about her and Dean's relationship nor her recent miscarriage and she knew Dean wouldn't either if he happened to run into Nick without her.

Olivia trusted her new partner a little bit more each day. She was still learning quite a bit about her new partner. He was somewhat still hard around the edges but she knew on the inside he had a heart full of compassion and it didn't take him to long to learn how SVU is run. Captain Cragen struck gold with the hiring of Amanda Rollins and Nicholas Amaro.

Olivia had called Dean around six p.m. to let him know she was back logged on some cases so she was going to stay and work late. They had made a dinner date at his place with him showcasing his culinary talents for her again like it had been in the past.

She put her hair up and was on her second cup of coffee when her captain was leaving for the night.

"You're not staying to long are you?"

"No just going through this statement again and finishing up my dd5 and it'll be on your desk by morning." He nodded at her with his coat folded over his arm.

"We'll see you tomorrow then." He said as he walked past her.

"Night Cap'n." she said. When the elevators doors opened Don Cragen was surprised to see Dean Porter standing there ready to step off with a brown bag in his hand that smelled heavenly to his senses.

"Captain," Dean nodded at him. It's been a while how are you?"

"I'm fine. I'm assuming you're here to see Olivia?" He was direct with his reply.

"Yes sir, she called and told me she was working late so I just want to make sure she eats something."

"Well that's rather nice of you I'm sure she'll appreciate it." He stepped in as Dean turned in Olivia's direction. Dean was left wondering if her captain was still carrying a grudge from the botched case two years ago.

"Dean," he called out holding the open button with his finger. "Don't let her work to late ok?" Dean smiled closed mouthed and nodded at him then made his way to see Olivia.

Olivia deserves to be happy and if it's with Dean then I'm happy for her. I know that last case they worked on took an emotional toll on both but they seem to have put their pasts behind them he thought as he rode up to the third floor to the street entrance.

She heard footsteps behind her and right away recognized his cologne.

"Hi, this is a nice surprise, what are you doing here?"

"Coming to see my girlfriend and bring her some of her favorite eggplant and zucchini parmagean." He said leaning over her and kissing her on the cheek. She turned her cheek to him with pursed lips.

"When you told me you cook I didn't realize that you would give the Galloping Gourmet a run for his money." She said as she took the covered dish from the bag and lifted the lid taking in the aroma. She noticed another container but he took the bag from her.

"That's for after," he said giving her a friendly warning.

"The first time you made this I couldn't stop eating it." She said getting up to get a napkin.

"When we worked together in Oregon and I told you I could cook, you thought I was gay at first didn't you?"

"Thought never crossed my mind," she said hurrying to put a forkful of the delectable pasta in her mouth giving him a quaint smile.

"You want some or did you eat?"

"I tasted it but I was going to eat with you if that's ok?"

"I'm sorry sweetie I thought you already ate, I'm so sorry."

"It's ok that's why I brought two forks and I sectioned it, see."

"I'll get us drinks, what do you want?"

"Root beer if they have it if not water." She came back with a root beer for him and ice tea for her. The enjoyed a nice meal at her desk chatting about her recent cases and the one she just can't seem to let go. He reached into the bag and brought out a small Tupperware container.

"You made this?" she asked.

"Yeah but it needs a little more time to set up. I only refrigerated it for an hour before leaving to come here."

"Let's save it for tomorrow night, I promise to be out of here earlier." She told him.

"Don't make promises like that Olivia." He looked at her wide eyed

"You're right." She said. Dean put the tiramisu in the refrigerator in the lounge upstairs until she was ready. He was busy on his phone while she finished typing her dd5.

"You ready?" she asked him after an hour and half had passed.

"Yep just get let me get the dessert."

They walked hand in hand to his car. He unlocked it via remote.

"Thanks for bringing dinner that was so sweet and thoughtful." Olivia said.

"Well when you said you were working late I knew you wouldn't eat and you have to kee-"

"Keep up my strength, I know I am. Amaro and I had lunch at that deli I introduced him to. I still can't believe he ate that entire mound of corned beef."

"New Yorker's don't skimp on their meats," he said laughing opening her door for her. She looked in his eyes before stepping up into the cabin. She touched his face lightly and let her fingers linger on his cheek before moving closer to kiss him lightly on the lips.

It didn't just end there. He slid his arms around her as his lips toppled over hers. The heat of their mouths generated much needed heat as it was mid-January in New York City.

"Whose place yours or mine?" she asked slightly light headed from his kiss.

"Your place is closer and your bed is smaller." Dean said. She hopped up and he shut her door.

"More room for you to keep me warm," Olivia said winking at him as she got in and he started his Chevy Suburban. They held hands over the console as he maneuvered the city streets as fast as he could.

Thirty minutes later half of his body was on top of her, his head resting on her bosom playing with the fabric on her camisole. Her hand rested on the back of his head as she played with a thick lock of his hair.

He lifted the satin fabric and kissed her skin softly right below her breast and all around her stomach. She shuddered at the touch of his lips on her bare skin. His fingers smoothed around her abdomen.

"Take this off." He asked gazing at her. Olivia lay flat reaching down lifting her camisole over her head. Dean's eyes gazed at her breasts as they popped into his line of sight. She had next to perfect breasts he always thought. Beautifully shaped and firm. Her nipples were master crafted, a perfect gift from God.

"A week from this Tuesday right?" he asked watching his index finger trace the skin under her breast.

"Yeah," she said quietly watching him.

"I just need to touch you Olivia." He looked up at her and she met his gaze eagerly.

"I need for you to touch me." Dean inched up until his mouth was securely fastened onto hers, the heat between their lips and her loins was enough to melt the paint form her bedroom walls.

He let go of her mouth and kissed her right breast while his left hand gently massaged her left. His tongue flicked over her taught nipple, sucking the little nub and rolling it between his fingers. They became erect instantly.

He busied himself between her cleavage then lifted up to kiss her again. She rubbed the back of his calves with her feet, her hands kneading the flesh on his broad shoulders. She felt the fire down below and the electrical impulses inside her vagina shot straight to her brain.

Dean's hand slid down her smooth torso until it landed at the waistband of her panties. Olivia could feel the wetness squish around as she shifted her legs. Her body was on fire as she wanted to go all the way with him.

Dean wanted the same thing and he fought hard at the urgency not to. He was hard as a brick. His hand toyed with her pubic hairs, sifting through them until his fingers nested between her wet folds.

He planted sweet kisses all around her navel area then would look back at her. Olivia moaned arching her head back, gripping the pillow behind her.

His middle finger was first to enter her as his thumb rubbed her clit. It wasn't long after when he added a second finger and she was coming all over his fingers.

"Ohhh yes, mmm-mmm…ohhhhh," she wimpered. The sensations ripped through her leaving her quaking as he continued his assault on her g-spot. Her legs closed around his hand keeping it captive until he surrendered.

His erection was about to burst through his boxers. He reached into his fly fondling himself, slowly sliding his hand out of her.

"We won't go any farther ok Liv?" Truthfully she wanted to go just a little farther.

"Ok," she sadly nodded. He moved upwards on her and kissed her fully tasting the sweetness of her mouth and the hint of cinnamon tooth paste and mouth that still lingered on her breath.

"I love you."

"I love you too." She said kissing the top of his shoulder, her fingers pressing into his back while her other hand tussled through his hair.

Two weeks had passed now, it was Saturday morning and Dean and Olivia were having breakfast at his apartment. He was reading the financial page while she looked over the front page. Dean wanted to talk to about adopting since they hadn't fully discussed it, just in dribs and drabs since the doctor's office that day.

He folded his paper and put it down taking a sip of his coffee. "Liv."

She looked up at him from her folded page.

"You want to talk about adopting."

"Yeah, I think we should. How did you know?"

"When you get quite like this and that serious look on your face, I just know, plus when's the last time we actually read the Times together?"

"I guess it would have to be when we first met," he said. Her lips curled upwards and she arched her brows at him.

"You still want to adopt if we can't get pregnant?" he said. She sighed heavily running her tongue over her bottom lip.

"More than anything but Dean what if it doesn't work out between us and we have this child who is caught in the middle."

"Why are you saying if it doesn't work out? You don't want it to work out?"

"No, no that's not what I'm saying. Before, I got pregnant but we weren't planning to become parents, it just happened so now we're planning and suppose something goes wrong. We don't have the smoothest track record."

"I'm not thinking about anything going wrong and I wish you wouldn't either. Olivia you're it for me, I don't want another woman in my life, like there's been so many right?" he managed to a slight chuckle.

"I can't lose you again, I love you so much." He said coming over to her side of the table.

"It's all so fast…getting pregnant, losing a baby and now trying for another one…I don't want to lose you either Dean and I want this baby to have both its parents growing up. Are you sure, because if you're not sure."

"He will and I've never been surer of anything in my life."

"HE will?" she said looking at him with wide eyes.

"She will…he will, they will." He said smiling trying to recover. They were laughing now as Olivia fell into his arms and they hugged.

"So let's contact an adoption agency," she said looking at him with tears of joy in her eyes. Dean brought his face closer to hers showering her lips with sweet pecks. He looked proud as a peacock standing up with his chest puffed out.

"I'm going to be a father!" he proclaimed proudly. Olivia smiled wide at his jubilation. Is it really true she thought? Am I finally I'm going to get everything I have ever wanted? She closed her eyes silently saying a prayer to her higher power.

Their appointment with the adoption agency was two days before Olivia's forty fourth birthday. The paper work was long and tedious and the questions seemed never ending.

What sex, what color, would they consider a baby with disabilities such as blindness, cerebral palsy, deaf, Down syndrome etc. Of course if they chose to adopt a baby with disabilities it would speed up their adoption process even faster than the twenty one months it takes for a new born and up to two years old the agency person told them.

When they left the office they were of mixed emotions. The silence between them as they left the interview room was deafening. Let's get a cup of coffee," Dean asked her.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Well for one we lied on the application saying we've been together for almost five years."

"Correction, we said off and on so if your application from before turns up and it says you're single not in a relationship, we didn't lie, we just fudged…an inch." He showed her with his thumb and index finger.

We have pictures to prove it and we'll supply them if asked. Baby don't worry but I'm feeling that isn't why you're so quiet."

"Are we mentally prepared if we get approved for a baby with disabilities?" He exhaled keeping eye contact with her.

"I'd like to think so."

"You heard what she said," Olivia said. "Adopting a baby with special needs such as Down syndrome is not recommended with two parents working full time and very long hours and not many applicants are approved."

"I know and if we're chosen to have a baby with any disability will make it work Olivia. I just can't believe it takes that long for infants and up two years old."

"I warned ya. It was fourteen months five years ago."

"Our first choice is a new born, second is a toddler and up. It's in the Lord's hands Liv." He said taking her hand in his. They sat drinking their coffee both thinking separately until Dean remembered something bringing him out of deep thought.

"I came this close to losing my faith when we lost the baby. I questioned God and I became so angry with him for what happened."

"Are you ok with him now?"

"Yeah. I've been stopping by once a week to pray."

"Dean are you deeply religious?"

"No, you know I'm not." he told her. "Why are you asking?"

"Because I just want to know where you stand on artificial insemination since you are Catholic?" He wasn't expecting to hear that.

"I'm not a practicing Catholic Liv, I mean I was raised Catholic but I haven't set foot in a Catholic church in…I don't know how long. Are you saying you want to try ivf treatments?"

"Do you?" she looked at him seriously.

"Whatever it takes honey." She closed her eyes and when she opened them they were moist. He handed her a napkin from the dispenser.

My chances are slightly higher than trying naturally." She said dabbing at the corners.

"How much does that cost?"

"I don't know, I can look into it," she said.

"We, we can look into it. We're in this together remember?" Dean squeezed her hand.

"Yes I know, I just forget because…I'm not."

"Used to not having someone around to care for you and be a part of major decisions," he added finishing the rest of her thought."

"Yeah something like that," she said half smiling back at him. "You're so good about that, I never have to remind you like you do me." she said flatly.

"You'll get there." He told her before the waitress returned to refill their cups.

"Olivia you got a minute?" Nick asked her as she was packing up to head out. Munch was at his desk and Rollins and Fin were out chasing a lead.

"Yeah literally a minute, what's up?"

"Look at these ballistic reports. They're the same." Olivia looked over each photo carefully.

"That's impossible, it's two different suspects." She said flabbergasted.

"Not unless Marcus shaved off his prints before using the gun."

"That son of a bitch! He's setting up his brother for the fall."

"Let's go pick him up and shake him."

"Nick," Olivia said touching his arm lightly. "Take one of the others, I have plans and I cleared with the Cap." He gave her a startled look at first.

"Sure." He pushed back from his desk reaching for his coat sliding an arm in then the other. "Have a good time…and Olivia?"

"Yeah," she turned around a few feet away from him.

"Happy birthday." He said almost whisper like. She was startled at his declaration.

"How did you know? and shhhh, I don't generally announce things like that." Her partner walked over to her.

"When you partner with someone you know nothing about other than what you're told, you do your own digging." He said smiling at her.

"Thanks," she said heading out.

They had reservations at her favorite restaurant. It had started snowing by the time he picked her up. "You look absolutely gorgeous Liv."

"Thank you, you look quite stunning yourself." He smiled at her, leaning into kiss her. She closed her eyes and pursed her lips together feeling his lips on her cheek.

"Happy birthday." He handed her a purple crushed velvet box.

"Thank you, what did you do?" she said as her smile broadened opening the small box. "Oh it's gorgeous Dean!" She slipped the amethyst cocktail ring on her finger.

"The lady at your boutique said that you had been eyeing that for some time and she said it even goes well with your favorite pair of jeans and sweater."

"Dean I know how much this costs." Olivia couldn't stop admiring her ring.

"It was being marked down next week so she went ahead and gave me the discount. It's not important how much it cost, what's important is how much you like it and that makes me happy knowing that you're happy."

"You know you're the only boyfriend that puts up going shopping with me. Thank you, I love you." Before he could answer she had pulled him by his scarf and her lips melted into his. Dean breathed in then out as they parted.

"Wow!" he said sticking his tongue between his lips savoring the taste of her lip gloss.

"I don't mind, just don't make it a weekend ritual besides I like how your outfits look on you when you try them on but I like them better when they're off of you," he said wagging his brows at her coming in for another delicious kiss.

"We're going to be late," Olivia said between kisses. Dean puckered his lips and playfully frowned at her.

The waiter came by with the evenings wine list and to take their drink orders.

"Mineral water for me please," Olivia said. Dean looked over the spirits.

"Guess I'll have a Beck's." Dean gave the waiter back the list. Their drinks arrived but neither one was ready to order yet as they got caught up in conversation feeling the warmth and ambiance from the crackling fire nearby.

"We'll just start with the shrimp and stone crab claw cocktail for now," Dean said. Dean took a swig of his beer then set it down. By the time their appetizer arrived Olivia noticed Dean wasn't drinking anymore of his beer.

"You didn't like it?"

"Oh I liked it alright but I read somewhere that sperm swim faster when you're not under the influence." He squirted the lemon on his shrimp and dipped the colossal de-shelled crustacean into the cocktail sauce and took a bite. Olivia smiled closed mouthed.

"Now I understand the changes with you of recent, eating healthier and not having your laptop on your lap. I'm impressed baby." He winked at her. They ordered and talked leisurely through dinner.

The photographer came around and asked if they wished to have their photo taken. Olivia and Dean leaned over the table, their foreheads touching as they smiled brightly for the camera.

The photographer showed them their photo for their approval and they ordered a print.

Their bodies were one tonight. They were both fully aroused, synchronized in movements as Dean laced his hands into hers that lay L shaped on each side of her head. His mouth settled on her neck, her breasts then her mouth. A three point precision play. Their foreplay lasted longer than normal.

Dean let go of Olivia's hands as he slid down her lean and smooth torso, kissing her delicately all the way down to her triangular area. She spread her legs wide giving him as much access as he needed.

He probed at her opening through her bikini underwear taking in the odoriferous scent of her. He slipped his hand in massing her lips and clitoris. Olivia moaned in delight at his touch.

She started to writhe as she wanted his mouth to take over where his fingers were pleasuring her. Soon Dean's tongue replaced his hand, taking the pink taught flesh between his teeth nibbling gently.

It was like opening the flood gates for Olivia as she could hold back no more and Dean drank her sweet nectar. He kissed and licked her inner thighs as some of her cream trickled onto her soft skinned legs. He inched up guiding his manhood into her.

Her hands went around his neck pulling him into a deep kiss. He penetrated her slowly for a while, his hips gently swaying back and forth building up for his swimmers to take flight into her birth canal and hopefully marry up with one of eggs and nestle in for the next nine months.

The sweat pooled on his chest and forehead as he picked up his pace and his breathing became heavier. He shifted them both by taking Olivia almost to the edge of his bed and placing her legs over his shoulders.

He pumped her tunnel faster and faster as he could feel his climax reaching. He slid in between her legs supporting himself on his arms. Olivia's legs wrapped around his back as she felt her second orgasm course through her loins.

She murmured as she bit down on her lip. "Ahhhh god it feel so good!"

"Ohhh yeah Olivia I'm gonna come," Dean grunted as he thrust his hips into her spilling his load. His pelvis jerked a few more times as he collapsed on top of her out of breath. She rubbed his back, her hands finally coming to a rest on his buttocks, his cock still deeply imbedded in her.

They lay like that for quite a while, neither one wanting to move.

Chapter 7: Chapter 7

February 10, 2012.

She heard him outside the front door of her apartment. He stomped his feet then entered. He wiped the rest of the snow from his coat and wiped his wet feet on the mat as he shed his leather coat and scarf.

"It's snowing like a banshee out there and there's freezing rain mixing in. There are a good couple of inches on the ground so far." He hung up his coat and took off his wet boots then brought the hot and sour soup over to Olivia who was wrapped up in a blanket on the couch. She had a sore throat and chest cold.

"Here's your soup hon and Cho said he hopes you're feeling better soon." Dean went into the kitchen to grab a spoon for her because Olivia doesn't care for plastic flatware. He gave her the spoon then sat at her feet rubbing them through the blanket as she took the steaming lid off the container.

"Thank you sweet heart, if I knew it was snowing that bad I wouldn't have asked you to go out for me. Put the blanket over you and warm up." She said kicking her feet loose.

"I don't think either one of us knew it was snowing when I went out and Yu Ling's isn't delivering unless you live a block from the restaurant and I know how much you love the soup from there." He tucked her feet back in and put them on his lap continuing to rub them.

Two weeks earlier January 27th. Center for Human Reproduction, Manhattan, NY.

After the consult with the doctor, Olivia and Dean were next shuffled to the finance office.

"This pamphlet will explain what is covered under your insurance and what is in bold print will not. We have a few different financial programs if you both are interested."

"Thirty thousand dollars? What's the best financial plan for that dollar amount?" Dean said looking from the finance person to Olivia looking a bit overwhelmed.

"Yes we do and unfortunately this is the part where most couples decide yes or no given their financial circumstances. Olivia let go of Dean's hand and looked around at all the photographs of the new babies adorning the walls.

"If we decide to go through with it when will be able to start the treatments?" Olivia asked. The woman looked through Olivia's paper work.

"Your last menstrual cycle was last week correct?

"Yes." Olivia answered.

"Next week, the 17th."

Olivia had mumbled one word since they left the fertility center.

"So what are you thinking?" Dean asked her.

"It's a lot of money and there's no guarantee will have a baby." She said.

"I can take out a loan from my credit union or my 401k." Olivia lowered her gaze and gave him a stern look.

"You will do no such thing! Dean this isn't fair to you. We just met and now you're talking about taking a loan to have a baby with me. I'm sorry to have involved you in all this."

Dean signaled to switch lanes then he pulled the car slightly abrupt left and turned down a side street pulling into a vacant residential space. He shoved the car into park and by the startled look Olivia was giving him and the expression on his face told her he was serious about what he was going to say to her next.

"Olivia, this is the last time we are going to discuss this. You are not making me do anything I don't want to be a part of. I want to have a baby with you. I want to marry you. I want us to be a family, what do you not understand about that?" Dean sounded exasperated with all the back and forth lately with trying to conceive again.

She was silent or more like in shock at his declaration of marriage. She pretty much felt that marriage was after they had a baby. She was just settling in, getting to know him again and fall in love with him…all over again.

He was good to her and good for her and she knew it, and she felt it, she was just fighting it and didn't really know why. They balanced each other well and Olivia felt there wasn't anyone on her short list of relationships that could compare to Dean's love of her. When things seemed to be moving at a comfortable pace for them, out of nowhere the pregnancy happened then the miscarriage followed which pushed Olivia back into her protective barrier.

"Dean."

"I know what you're going to say Liv and I didn't mean to pile up on you like that but you have to know how much I love you and that someday I do see us getting married, if you'll take my hand in marriage."

"If we decide to go this route…We'll pool our monies together. I would never ask nor expect you take out a loan of that amount. I do know how much you love me but Dean this is not what you had in mind when we met and decided to take things slow."

Dean had wondered if he had said too much by subtly asking her to marry him. Maybe he should of stopped at just talking about helping paying for the ivf treatments and leave it alone at that. He knew Olivia well and when you bombard her with questions she just puts up her wall and answers to only what she knows she can provide a safe and truthful answer.

"No, it's not but you play with what you're dealt, so in essence Olivia I could fold and get out of the game or stay and play to win and I chose the latter and I just wish you would accept that I'm in this relationship with you until one of us walks away or the other."

"The other?" she asked puzzled.

"Leaves this Earth," he said lowering his head to meet her gaze. His declaration of his feelings for her spoke volumes and she knew in her heart he meant every word of it.

"I knew that," she said matter of fact. She stared at her hands then out the window squinting at the day's high and bright sun. Dean watched her before returning his gaze to the front.

They sat parked, the silence echoing for several minutes until their attention was drawn the young man knocking on Dean's side.

"You live here?"

"No sorry boss we were just leaving," Dean said starting the car and carefully backing up then driving off. When they returned to his place Olivia said she felt tired and was just going in to lie down in his bedroom.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012-

Olivia and Nick arrived back at the precinct fresh from their visit with Melinda Warner at the morgue. "Son of a bitch didn't leave a drop of dna!" Nick said throwing down a folder on his desk. Cragen appeared from his office.

"Hold on Nick, our perp may have been a woman." Nick could have sworn that a bruise would show up on his chest from where his jaw dropped hard listening to his partner's suggestion. Amanda's eyes grew wide with curiosity.

Fin came in holding a doll. "Liv's right, I found this in her gymnastics teacher's locker at the studio where Laurie took gymnastics class." The doll Fin displayed had a hole cut out in the vaginal area.

"Pick her up and shake her," Cragen said listening intently.

Four hours later of tag team grilling their alleged suspect, she finally broke her denial without lawyering up. "That was some damn good tactics you used in there," Olivia said patting Nick on the back as they walked out of the interview room.

"Whoo," Nick said puffing his cheeks out. "She was a tough one to break. Feel like getting a drink?"

"I uh, can I get a rain check?"

"Sure, plans with the FBI guy?" he asked reclining in his chair rolling a pencil between his fingers. Olivia looked in the vicinity of Amanda, John and Fin who were all busy at their desks except that Fin cast a glance her way. Olivia finished putting on her jacket and walked over to her partner's desk and whispered softly.

"Yeah and Amaro…I'd like to keep that between you and me for now, ok?" She gave him a wink pushing the weight of her hand down on his shoulder then walked past him. Nick sprung forward from his reclining position back to his desk turning around to watch Olivia leave. Fin walked over to him on his way to the captain's office.

"Crash and burn Amaro?"

"What?" Nick said looking at his partner puzzling then looking back to the exit out of the precinct. "Me and Olivia? Nah man I'm married and she has a date."

"Never stopped Stabler man." Fin continued his walk to Cragen's office. Nick was left shaking his head with a quirky smile.

Dean's apartment Tuesday, February 14th, 8:45 p.m.

The dining room table was set with candles and two wine glasses; Dean's was filled but by the time she walked in his was more than half empty. The apartment wafted of delicious aroma's that sat on the stove top warming. The dessert was chilling in the refrigerator.

"I'm so sorry and I should have called earlier. Did I totally ruin our evening?" she said shedding her coat and scarf. He drained the rest of his glass then set it down getting up slowly coming over to her.

"No it's all still edible; I have it warming on the stove. Come sit." He motioned for her to take a seat kissing her on the cheek. She watched him retreat to the kitchen feeling he was upset but she was afraid he just wasn't showing it. He returned with the carafe of wine and pulled the other chair in front of her turning it backwards then he sat down resting his arms over the top.

"Buy you a drink?" Dean said pouring the warm red liquid into her glass.

"Yeah I'd love one."

Hi, I'm Gary."."

"I'm Celeste." Olivia said smiling at him. They clinked glasses then she brought her wine glass to her lips.

"Well we got that out of the way, so tell me Celeste what do you do for a living?" Dean said flirtasciously.

"I'm a detective for the NYPD and I've had a very long day and I think I upset my boyfriend because you see he made this really incredibly delicious diner for Valentine's Day and I'm very late."

"So this is how you see yourself, as a bad girl?" Dean said grinning, his eyes almost boring into her. Olivia tilted her head slightly, blinking slowly, smiling her precious smile at him.

"A bad girl or overworked detective?"

"You tell me because I don't have a problem with you being a bad girl….I like your hair, I like your outfit." Dean swept a lock of her hair and smoothed his fingers through the silky strands.

"This," Olivia said looking at her work clothes. I wanted to go home first and change into something more comforta-"

"Sexy," Dean said letting his eyes travel from her eyes all the way down to her knees then back to her eyes.

"So tell me Gary what do you do for a living?'

"How far do you want to go with this?" Dean asked straightening himself in his chair.

"Ohhh," Olivia said with a pained expression on her face. "Don't say anything yet."

"I don't think it works for anyone else, I mean what do Gary and Celeste know?" Dean said.

"I'm sorry I was late," Olivia said getting up and heading over to the couch with her glass of wine. Dean followed her and sat on the coffee table opposite her. She drank and he drank, both never breaking their eye gaze. Dean set his glass down and touched her thigh slowly inching his hand up her pant leg.

Olivia put her hand over top of his rubbing it gently. She leaned into him kissing him softly on the lips then moving past him to stand up. She set her glass down on the coffee table then cupped his chin gently sliding her fingers over the smooth skin. She walked towards the bedroom discarding her suit coat.

Dean watched appreciatively as he walked a few feet behind her. The moon light streamed into the bedroom window illuminating the snow that was falling lightly over New York City. Olivia reached up and took the clip that was holding her hair up. Very sexily, she shook her hair loose letting it cascade down and fall into place over her shoulders and down her back, watching him as well.

Dean unbuttoned his dress shirt and tossed it aside then quickly went for his belt unzipping his trousers two fold. Olivia was stripped down to her panties and matching bra as Dean locked his eyes on her luscious body that he would be having in less than a minute.

They fall back on his bed gently as his mouth came down upon hers. They were hungry for one another, sex had been here and there the past few weeks. The stress on each of them had taken its toll with the adoption process and now recently the fertility clinic. They had been almost strangers.

She called his name and moaned softly in his ear as she climaxed at the reign of his fingers what they were doing to her womanhood. He teased and tantalized her, she writhed and arched herself at him riding the last wave of her peak.

His mouth replaced his fingers; his breath was warm against her clit. Her murmurs were high and low as she came again while he devoured her vagina. Olivia pushed his head from her swollen passage and climbed atop of him. She placed her hands on his stomach as she rode his monstrous organ long and hard.

He reached up and massaged her breasts, rolling her erect nipple between his fingers. Soon he flipped her over and entered her with ease.

Their breathing labored as he moved in and out of her faster and faster. She dug her nails into his back as her legs hooked into his ass. He came quickly collapsing against her. They kissed deeply before Dean rolled off her and pulled her closer to him wrapping his arms around her.

"I love you baby." Dean said softly into the back of her hair, his fingers intertwining with hers.

"Mmmm I love you too," Olivia said bringing the back of his hand to her lips and kissing it.

Tuesday, February 28th, 2012.

"Did it hurt?" Dean asked standing in the doorway with his arms raised to the top of the door frame supporting himself.

"No, just a little prick that's all." She wiped the area with an alcohol swab then placed a band aid over it.

"So next week we do the butt shots?" Dean asked walking behind her unzipping his pants and urinating in the toilet.

"Hopefully. I go back this Friday and we check my hfs levels and if my follicles are thick enough and plenty, then we move to the next step. She popped a pill into her mouth and took a swig of water throwing her head back. He came up behind her and put his arms around her.

"We're making a baby Liv."

"I know," she said resting her head against his cheek. She pulled away and walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. She pulled down her side of the bed.

"What's wrong?" he said pulling down his side.

"Nothing, I'm sorry it's just this is so nerve wracking…waiting and hoping. I really want this to be a success."

"I do too baby and we just have to feel it is. You want to pray?" he asked.

"Yeah." They lay with their hands together before kissing one another good night and falling asleep.

Café Storico, Central Park west.

"Here you go ladies, one coffee extra black and a glass of water for you mam." Alex took the coffee and spooned a spoonful of sugar dispensing it into her cup stirring it.

"Olivia you wanted to meet for lunch, what's up?" Olivia turned her water glass and kept turning it. Alex reached across the table and stilled her hands.

"Liv what is it, are you alright?" Olivia took a deep breath in.

"Alex I'm, I'm pregnant." Alex was speechless at the news.

"Well don't look overly excited," Olivia said watching her friend.

"Liv I'm happy for you, really I am but I had no idea that you and Dean were trying. You just got back together." Olivia knew Nick couldn't keep his mouth shut. Alex watched her friend.

"Don't blame Nick Olivia, the day you showed up late for our meeting he was worried. Said you and Dean had just started up your relationship so there might be problems which could be keeping you. It never went past me Liv."

"It's ok I have to disclose it to Cragen anyways."

"So it's good between you two?"

"Yes but I'm just so nervous in telling him because he gets so excited and we lost a baby two months ago and I'm afraid I'm going to lose this one to with all the pressure. I want wait till I'm out of the woods. Am I superstitious Alex?"

"Oh my god Liv I didn't know. I'm so sorry."

"Thanks, no one did. I had no idea I was and then one day…yeah we weren't sure if I would be able to carry due to my age so we started an adoption process and now, here I am pregnant."

"Are you going to proceed with the adoption?"

"I'm not sure I have to talk to Dean."

"Olivia you need to tell him he's the father he has a right to know. You know your body well Liv, you will do what you think it's best for you and the baby."

Olivia's apartment Monday morning March 24th, 2012-

"So you're going to tell your captain today?"

"Yes." Dean touched her cheek lightly with his hand as they kissed good bye. He was over the moon when she told him they were with child and both had decided to stay with the adoption process. A sibling would be good for the baby Olivia told him. She hated growing up alone.

Olivia told Dean she didn't want them talking about the pregnancy until she was past her first trimester. She wanted so desperately to hold on to this fetus.

Manhattan SVU- "Olivia come in. What's up?" Olivia walked closer to his desk her hands in front of her with her fingers splayed apart the tips touching. He watched his first detective carefully.

"Captian…I'm pregnant. Cragen lowered his gaze letting the news sink in. After a few seconds he pushed back from his chair and came around the desk. He placed his hands on her shoulders pulling her into a hug.

"Congratulations Olivia, I'm very pleased for you."

"Captain there's something else." He pulled back looking at her.

"I'm in a relationship with Dean Porter and he's the father." Cragen nodded at her.

"I was sitting four rows behind you both at the theatre the other night." Olivia cocked her head squinting at him at him.

"You had a date? I'm glad you're getting out Captain."

"Congratulations Olivia and please pass along my well wishes to Dean as well. Liv, you do know I have to sit you for a while."

"Yes I know."

"Does the squad know?"

"No I'm going to make an announcement right now." She smiled and left his office, summoning over her colleagues. He watched her walk out of his office and then quartet gathered at her desk. Through the window of his office he witnessed the smiles and hugs and pats on the back from his squad. They were a cohesive group, respecting one another and working as a team, something he had missed from his years as captain of the Special Victims Unit. There was a sense of calm without detective Elliot Stabler

Thank you all so much for your reviews, much appreciated. This is a short update because I'm trying to finish many open projects and get ready for Christmas and the New Year.

Chapter 8: Chapter 8

Her baby bump protruded just enough to be called a "baby bump." Dean always kissed her bump after kissing her good night and the same ritual in the a.m. Olivia was now officially passed her first trimester.

She was in her thirteenth week of her pregnancy. If there was ever a lid to try and contain her excitement it wouldn't fit. She bubbled over with joy at having a little fetus inside her growing by the day. The morning sickness was subsiding, the queasiness she still felt throughout the day and vomiting was maybe twice a week and sometimes in the evening instead of first thing in the a.m.

Her hand was never far from her bump as she rubbed her belly and touched her abdomen quite frequently. They could openly talk about the baby now without feeling superstitious, well Olivia more so than Dean, on becoming parents, names for a girl, names for a boy, are they going to find out the sex, what needed to be done first in preparation of the little's one arrival, etc.

Morning sickness was rough for Olivia which kicked up her stress level thinking she was going to lose the baby from wrenching her insides out every morning. She was worried how much weight she was losing with the vomiting but her ob-gyn assured her that a majority of women lose weight in the first trimester due to the sickness but soon she would be gaining and then complaining about that.

Dean was a huge comfort to her during these past weeks, something Olivia needed. He cleaned, especially the bathroom once a day. He cooked, he laundered, brought her warm compresses, ran out in the middle of the night to buy ginger ale that she had run out and forgot to tell him to pick up.

At night he would lay behind her or face to face with her, whatever was most comfortable for her and gently stroked her hair, laying a reassuring arm across her hip and held her hand while curled up with her reminding her that all this morning sickness would soon pass.

It was Saturday morning and Olivia had just returned from the farmer's market. "Why didn't you wake me I would have gone with you?" Dean said buttering toast for them. She placed the bag on the counter and washed her hands. Dean inspected the contents of her purchase.

"Its fine love, I was awake early so I decided to get up and go for a walk. The weather is just gorgeous today. Can you believe June first is in a few days?"

"Mmmm fresh macaroons, so she's back huh?" he asked taking one out of the bag and taking a bite letting the cookie dust fall onto his t-shirt. He took the freshly baked loaves of bread and put them in the bread box.

"She said she had to tend to a family emergency but everything's ok. I was starting to have serious cookie withdrawal, hey quit eating them all!" Olivia playfully slapped his hand took the bag from him. She put the rinsed fruit onto a dish towel and took down two mugs from the cupboard while he took out the cartoon of eggs with the other cookie between his lips.

"They're so good," he said eating it. "You want any eggs?"

"Hmmm no not today, I'll have a yogurt and toast." Dean got out the preserves and turned off the tea kettle that was whistling.

"I have to tell you Liv I never really put much into medical science but what they do is just amazing. Getting to see the first steps of an embryo's development, I was just floored." Dean went back a few months to the morning of Olivia's egg retrieval at the IVF and Genetics Center.

Flasback the morning of March 14th.

Dean has just given his sperm sample to the lab technician who passed it along to the scientist who would later manipulate his sperm with Olivia's eggs in a petri dish and in less than a week the fresh embryos would be implanted into Olivia with hopes of gaining a successful pregnancy.

A few moments later he and Olivia were called back to the laboratory. They both gowned up, wore masks, head coverings and shoe coverings as they entered the lab.

"Come take a look Mr. Porter, Ms. Benson." Dean looked into the microscope first and saw a batch of his sperm. It reminded him of the tadpoles he and his neighborhood buddies would collect in jars at the pond when he was a little boy. Olivia's turn was next.

"How many are there and how do you know which ones to pick?" she asked the doctor.

"We use entire husband sample and there are over 6.5 million." Dean and Olivia glanced at one another hearing the term husband.

"No change with sperm wash from other day. It look good, DH count very high, morph rate 42% and motility rate 76% almost "super sperm." The Chinese doctor chuckled looking at Dean who stood hooking his fingers into his belt proudly grinning. Olivia looked at him trying to stifle a laugh and playfully back handed his chest then gave the scientist a sideways glance. "You had to tell him that?" The doctor on the team, who Dean and Olivia had never met until just today just assumed they were married.

"Super sperm?" Olivia chuckled leaving the lab with Dean right behind her.

"Hey my swimmers could even give Michael Phelps a run for his money." His remark earned an eye roll from Olivia. He gently tickled her waist line as they headed back to the waiting area.

"Me too and I'm so glad it was a success." She touched his hand from across the table and gave him a good squeeze. It was Olivia's turn to let her mind drift back to that day.

Flashback March 14th.

Olivia was given a local anesthetic but was not fully under. She could faintly hear voices in the room and the lights seemed so bright as she laid back on the gurney. Dean was gowned and masked while he stood beside her head holding her hand tight as the doctor came entered in full scrubs.

"Alright Ms. Benson we are ready to harvest some very beautiful eggs from you today." Olivia knew the doctor was French but even his thick French accent was drowned out with how drowsy she was feeling.

She had fallen asleep when they wheeled her into the recovery area. She was starting to come around when Dean looked up from his magazine listening to his girlfriend stir.

"Hi baby, how do you feel?" Dean smoothed the top of her head pushing her hair back.

"Tired, how many eggs did they get?" she asked.

"You didn't hear the doctor after they finished did you?" he asked her smiling wide at her.

"No why what did he say?"

"They took 4 eggs from you."

"Four good ones or four-"

"Shhh Liv don't even go there baby. They took four good eggs."

"Where were you just now?" he asked scooping the last bit of scrambled eggs onto his piece of toast putting it into his mouth. She smiled at him shaking her head, blinking softly at him.

"Are we going to find out the sex at your next appointment? He asked. She looked at him over the top of her mug while taking a drink.

"I want to how about you?" she said.

"Yes I want to too, it'll give us a jump start on what colors to paint the nursery, speaking of which I think we should both end our leases and look for a home that definitely has more room."

"I don't think I can move an apartment and be pregnant at the same time."

"You wouldn't have to lift a finger. I'll get a moving company to move us both. We can't stay at my place and this place granted has a den but hon we have to think about a good neighborhood, schools and a play room for all the toys." Dean told her.

"We have time to decide if we want to stay here at my place until after the birth ok?"

"Ok," he said reaching for the newspaper.

Later that night Olivia took a call from Elliot. "Sure just let me talk to Dean and I'll get back to you, thanks El talk to you soon."

"What's up?" he asked putting his book down. Olivia put her cell phone back on the night table and rolled over towards him.

"Elliot invited his to a cook out Sunday for Memorial Day. What do you think, you want to go?"

"Not particularly but we'll go, he's your partner or was and I know how important it is to you so call him back and tell him yes."

"No not if you don't really want to go but you should get to know him now that he's no longer on the force….He's different Dean, the shooting changed everything for him and he's fine with us being together."

"We'll go honey, it's about time he and I buried the past. A few seconds of silence passed as he watched her fluff her pillow and get comfortable before turning out her light.

"Good night love, love you." She turned over and planted a sweet kiss on his lips.

"Night baby, love you too."

Elliot and Kathy's house Sunday May 30th 2012.

"Hey come in, good to see you again Liv. Dean how are you?" Elliot said ushering them in. Olivia had an apple pie and mixed summer berry cobbler that she baked yesterday and handed them to Dean as she and Elliot hugged.

"We're good, we brought goodies." Olivia showed him.

"Kathy's in the kitchen come on. There's some more people out back I'll introduce you. Dean, beer?"

"Yeah sure I'll have whatever you serving."

"Hi Liv how are you? it's been a while." Kathy said hugging her. She freed Dean of the desserts and hugged him to.

"Can I get you a drink? Wine, beer, soda, water?"

"Water will be just fine thanks," Olivia said. Kathy went to the tap and filled her glass handing it to her.

"Liv, this is our neighbor Milly and her daughter Jaclyn. This is Gloria and that's Deb, she and I work together," Kathy said introducing Dean and Olivia to them.

"Everybody this is Olivia, Elliot's former partner and good family friend to us and her friend Dean." Elliot took them out back and introduced them to some others who were associated with the NYPD and a few neighbors. Olivia went inside after introductions to help Kathy.

Eli who was three and half years old came bustling in. "Mommy I'm hungry."

"We're going to eat very soon baby. You want some animal crackers?"

"Yeah."

"Eli, can you say hi to Olivia?" The three and half year old boy waved not even bothering to look up at her, just managed to shove an elephant shaped cookie into his mouth. Kathy came over to her son who was chewing getting ready to shove another one in.

"Eli, after you finish swallowing your cookie I want you to speak to Olivia, she's our guest. You remember what daddy and I taught you about manners when you meet people who come into our home right?" He shook his head yes as he swallowed the last bite and moved his tongue around in his mouth trying to get the saliva soaked cookie unstuck from his teeth.

"Hi Ms. Olivia."

"Hello Eli how ya doing?" Olivia mussed his hair.

"Good. Mommy where's everybody?"

"Lizzie is upstairs, Kathleen and Jay are coming by later and Dickie is on his way but has to pick up Karen first."

"Mommy he likes to be called Dick not Dickie."

"He'll always be my little Dickie."

"How's Maureen enjoying overseas?"

"She loves it and of course I'm a nervous wreck."

"She's following her dreams wanting to join the Peace Corps." Olivia said trying to assure Kathy her eldest daughter would be just fine. Milly and Deb chimed in as well.

"That's what I've told her Olivia. She's Eliot's daughter and she'll do just fine on her own over there," Deb said.

"She's a Stabler and she's got her father's survivor skills." Milly added.

"Thanks, so what am I chopped liver?" Kathy chuckled.

"There's plenty of peace keeping missions right here to keep her busy, why does she have to go off to some remote country where I can't talk to her or get mail to her on a weekly basis. I can't stand it."

"She's doing what she knows is best for her heart and for people who need a team like hers." Olivia said taking a hand full of almonds from the nut dish that was available on the table. Kathy turned her back and continued to wipe down the counter trying not to think about her baby girl in some third world country where violence and strife are as common as baseball, apple pie and back yard barbecues.

Deb who was a nurse and also Kathy's co-worker kept looking at Olivia whose hand rested on her belly gently rubbing it. The women chatted some more then Deb finally asked.

"Olivia, I hope I'm not rude when and I ask and I apologize if I am but are you expecting?" Olivia's face beamed with red and joy just seemed to want to spill out of her heart as she smiled at Deb and the others.

"Yes I am, almost fourteen weeks." The women all gathered around her and hugged her; Kathy's hug was especially tight and long. Olivia knew nurses know best and the way the woman was staring at her made Olivia think she may know.

"Oh Olivia congratulations! That's so wonderful; I know you've been waiting a long time for this. She wiped her hands on her apron then came over and hugged her tightly.

"When are you due?" Kathy said with her hands on Olivia's shoulders looking into her eyes. Olivia thought, waiting a long time how would she know unless Elliot talks too much.

"December 21st." Olivia told her wide eyed full of smile. She reached into her purse and showed her the sonogram.

"Are you going to find out the sex?" Oh Liv I'm so happy for you both." She hugged her again. Kathy passed Olivia's sonogram to the ladies sitting around the table.

"Yes we want to know."

"Does Elliot know?"

"No unless Dean tells him."

Dean blended in well with all the law enforcement testosterone out back with the exception of Elliot's neighbor Fred who was a fork lift operator at Lowes.

"So Liv tells me you got promoted to assistant deput director of field ops, that's great man." He raised his beer to Dean's and took a long swig. Dean didn't know why the pang of jealosy hit him just now. Of course he knew that Olivia and him meet often since now that Elliot has resurfaced and has somewhat recovered from the ordeal last spring. The closeness the two shared shouldn't bother him but Dean has always felt that no matter where he and Olivia are, Elliot won't be far away in her mind.

"Elliot?" He turned around from cooking on the grill and lifted his face to Dean.

"Liv's pregnant." Elliot looked stunned for a moment then a smile broke out on his face.

"Congrats man, she never told me."

"She's was a bit...well I should say very superticious about not wanting to talk about it until she was passed the first trimester." The two men raised their beers and clinked bottles. Dean enjoyed his swallow even more because now he felt that he had more...more of what? He was trying to put it into words.

More solid ground now with Olivia than Elliot would ever have with his best friend and former partner. Olivia found love with Dean. Dean didn't have to worry anymore of Elliot's prowness over her and wanting her to soley depend on him. Sometimes life deals you a great hand and other times your cards suck big time. Dean could throw down his hand now and collect his winnings for he had won in the long run.

The food was served and good times were had with all. Olivia and Dean were almost the last ones to leave that evening.

"Elliot, Olivia and Dean have some wonderful news to share with you." Elliot stared at Olivia and it clicked.

"You're pregnant?"

"Yes we are, how did you know not to ask the other question?" Olivia looked at him skeptically.

"Pregnant woman eat a lot of strange foods together and smells usually turn them off rather quickly so when you turned your nose up at my NY strip steak that cost me half my retirement check that I slaved marinating over night, I knew something was up plus you're not wearing an engagement ring yet." They all laughed.

"But your boyfriend here couldn't wait to tell me outside, congratulations Liv it couldn't of happened to a more deserving person than you." Elliot stepped up and pulled his ex-partner into a long hug.

"Thanks El," Olivia said pulling out his hug.

"Congrats again man." Elliot said to Dean shaking his hand.

"Call me will go to lunch, my treat," Elliot said smiling at her.

"You always pay, that's just how it is," Olivia said smirking back at him.

Olivia's apartment that evening-

"Did you have a good time today?" she asked standing looking at the bookcase in the den. "It wouldn't be so bad if we lived here for a year maybe two then moved into a house, would it?"

"I did…ate too much though," Dean said rubbing his very full stomach. "No but it would be nice to have a little more room but your right we have a little time. Tomorrow I'll put in my thirty day notice in with my building," Dean told her.

"He's happy for us love," she said coming to him and putting her arms around his neck, his arms encircling her. "So what did you think? Think he's changed?" she asked her boyfriend gazing up at him. Dean planted a small kiss on her lips.

"Yeah he's much calmer, more at ease but there's still an awful lot of sadness in his heart over what happened." Dean said looking at her.

"I know, and it was a clean shooting and he and I both knew it." Dean shook his head in agreement not really wanting to expound on it.

"Liv, did something happen to you while you were on an undercover assignment in a prison a few years back?" Olivia tensed up.

"Joe was talking about an undercover gig gone wrong and Elliot mentioned that your undercover gig would have probably been worse if Fin hadn't come when he came." She tucked her bottom lip in not looking at him.

"You can tell me hon but if you rather not I understand." Olivia let her arms go form around his neck and walked over to the chair and sat down.

"No, no you don't because down the road you're going to say that Elliot knows more about me than you and how you and I are in a relationship now and you don't know these things about me when you feel you should. I know you Dean." They looked at one another not knowing what to say next. Dean started for the door.

"Dean come sit down."

"There's hardly enough room for us both Liv."

"I'm not that fat yet," she scooted as close to her side as possible and patted the seat."

"That's not what I meant Liv."

"I know." He squeezed in and put his arm around her pulling her close. She hesitated for a few seconds then spoke.

"Elliot does not know everything that went down, all he knows is that I was assaulted but I never told him sexually. Only my captain knows. It's a time in my life that I have closed off and never wish to visit again."

He sat and waited patiently for her to begin.

"I was sexually assaulted while undercover at Sealview. There were some guards that were raping inmates so Fin and I went undercover. I was taken down to the basement where it happened." She could feel his fingers press into her skin and hear his breath through his nostrils.

"How far did he go?"

"I was seconds away from having oral sex. He hit me pretty bad."

"I remember talk in the office about a guard going to jail from there. Was his name Lowell Harris?"

"Yes."

"I'll fucking kill him if I ever see him on the street again!"

"See Dean that's exactly what I don't need for you to do. I was in therapy for two years and I still once in a while get flashbacks. They're not as bad and I continue to work hard putting everything out of mind."

"Ok Liv, I understand." She turned herself to look him in the eye.

"Do you, do you really understand?" He kissed the side if her head and whispered yes.

"I don't want to cause your flashbacks to become any worse; I just hate him for what he did to you."

"I know you do and I appreciate the support but it's over he's in jail where he belongs for a very long long time."

Merry Christmas and the happiest of New Years to all of you Thank you for your vested interest in the story. Be back in 2012 :-)

Chapter 9: Chapter 9

The summer of 2012 proved to be one of the hottest New York has ever recorded. Ever since the start of the summer temperatures hadn't dipped below eighty five degrees. Calvin was coming to spend the weekend with Olivia and Dean for the fourth of July. Olivia's cravings were just starting to peak. She wanted watermelon anytime of the day every day, lemonade and boston cream filled donuts.

Dean had just finished selling the last piece of his furniture from his apartment. "Ok I think that's last of it," Dean said as the last piece was taken away by the lucky buyer.

"The bed, what are we doing with it?" His brother asked. Dean had swapped her queen bed with his king.

"Nobody wanted even the frame?"

"Nope," his brother said. Dean took out his phone and called her.

"Who takes just a comforter but not the bed frame?" Dean asked looking puzzled.

"Uh…someone who wants just the comforter." His brother added.

"That's a good idea hon," He hung up and put away his phone. "We'll donate the frame to the Goodwill and trash the mattress and box spring," he said.

"You'll have to contact special trash for that, normal pick up won't take those things," his brother told him.

"Ok can you do that please?" Dean asked.

"Yeah sure and tell Olivia she owes me dinner and I want her chicken cacciatorie."

"I'll tell her, thanks bro," Dean said giving his younger brother a hug before saying good bye and turning in his key to the land lord. He called Olivia on his way to her place.

"Hey baby all done here. What time does his train get in?"

"5:15," she told him.

"Do we need anything in the line of breakfast foods like bavarian cream filled donuts?" Dean asked chuckling.

"DEFINITELY a dozen of them," she said. "Other than that I think we're all set for him and his appetite."

"Ok I'll get the donuts and be there in ten to pick you up."

"Alright thanks sweetie, love you," Olivia said.

"Love you too."

Penn Station July 1st-

Olivia waved when she caught sight of Calvin getting off the train.

"Hi sweetie how are you?"

"Hi Olivia, I'm good, hi Dean."

"Hey Calvin good to see you again, how was the trip down?"

"Fine. I have to call my grandparents though to let them know I arrived."

They went to dinner at Lombardi's pizzeria. Calvin's favorite food was pizza and Dean's favorite place to get a pie was at Lombardi's. About halfway through their pizza Olivia gave Calvin the good news so she thought.

"Wow a baby, that's great congratulations. Are you having a boy or a girl?" Calvin said trying to muster a smile eyeing them then reaching for another slice. Olivia and Dean smiled at the revelation but weren't sure what to make of Calvin's expression. He seemed more into the pizza than the news Olivia was having a baby.

"We get to find out hopefully in two weeks," Olivia said happily.

"Hey Calvin, Olivia and I want you to know just because we're going to have a baby doesn't mean we don't want you to think you can't visit us anymore. We still would love to have you come."

"I know but babies take up a lot of time." He said. Olivia reached across the table and put her hand on top of his.

"They do but I want you to be a part of our lives for however long you want to be. We love you Calvin and enjoy having you." Olivia said.

"I love you guys too and I like being here." The next thing he mumbled was inaudible but Dean swore he thought Calvin had said he wished he lived with them. Calvin then took a big sip of his soda through his straw. The next day they threesome visited the Central Park Zoo and took in a movie.

Calvin had never been to any zoo even though he was born and raised in the city. His mother never had time for him while he was growing up. Her addiction to street drugs and alcohol consumed her life often leaving Calvin with his gravely ill grandmother.

His father took off when he was very young. Vivian Arliss who had met Olivia through a case that SVU was investigating transferred custodial guardianship to Olivia and she and Calvin bonded quickly for two months then it all came to a tragic ending for the young man when his mother's lover was murdered by his father David who now sits on death row at Rikers Correctional Facility.

Vivian then stripped temporary guardianship from Olivia and transferred it to Calvin's father's parents who reside in Vermont while Vivian attempted to enter a rehabilitation facility to clean herself up from her drug and alcohol addiction.

Calvin's grandparents knew how important it was for Calvin to keep up with his relationship with detective Olivia Benson who had temporary guardianship of him until the New York Family Court of Law intervened and placed him with his paternal grandparents. It was total devastation for Olivia and Calvin to be ripped apart as they were that evening when Child Protective Service entered the precinct where Olivia worked and took the boy from her.

On Sunday they went to Simon's home in New Jersey for a Fourth of July get together.

"Simon this is Calvin. Calvin this is my brother Simon, his wife Lucy and their son Jordan." Jordan was three years younger than Calvin so the two boys pretty much hit it off right from the start.

"Olivia any cravings yet?" Lucy asked as the women ventured off to the kitchen and the men went out back to grill and drink beer.

"I can't seem to stop eating enough watermelon and I want lemonade no matter if it's the first thing in the morning and donuts, Bavarian cream only." Olivia told her sister-in-law.

"Well we have plenty of watermelon but sorry I don't have any donuts," Lucy said slicing off a wedge giving it to Olivia.

"I'm so happy for you both man. Olivia has always wanted to be a mom and when she told me how difficult a time she was having trying to adopt a couple years back my heart just broke for her so when you guys told us the good news we said it couldn't of happened to a better person."

"Thanks man." Dean said raising his bottle to Simon's.

"Are you two planning on getting married or what?"

"We've been discussing it and it's definitely part of our plan, we're just doing things out of order," Dean said smiling taking a gulp of his beer.

Olivia's apartment that evening-

"Did you enjoy your weekend Calvin?" Olivia asked him sitting on the edge of the couch.

"I sure did thanks so much for a great time. I really liked the zoo and your brother is really cool and I had a great time hanging out with Jordan."

"I'm glad, well will have to make plans again for you to come again or maybe Dean and I can come see you before the baby arrives."

"That would be cool but I don't think there's a lot to do in Vermont." He said.

"We'll think of something. Get some sleep kiddo, see you in the morning." She stood up then leaned down and kissed the top of his head. Dean emerged from the bedroom to say good night too.

Next afternoon they took Calvin to the train station and said good bye.

Olivia's sixteenth week checkup July 19th.

"Hey baby I'm running a little behind but I will be there to pick you up in ten minutes ok?"

"Oh Dean I knew this was going to happen! I'll just drive myself and we'll meet there." Olivia said cradling her phone in the crook of her neck as she reached for her keys that fell on the floor when she grabbed her purse.

"I'm sorry hon my meeting ran over."

"It's always something Dean. I'll see you there bye."

"Bye, love you." Dean said. Olivia had already hung up. Sometimes I just can't win with her, he thought.

Forty five minutes later- Women's Comprehensive Health 30 West 60th Street, suite 1-S.

"Hello Olivia," her ob-gyn said extending her hand to Olivia.

"Doctor Nussbaum this is Dean the baby's father and my boyfriend."

"Congratulations and it's nice to meet you Dean." They shook hands.

"It's very nice to meet you doctor, Olivia talks very highly of you."

"Olivia I and I go way back, her mom was a patient of mine so I knew Olivia when she was this tall." The doctor held her hand chest level indicating Olivia's height at the time the doctor had met her.

Dr. Nussbaum continued looking at Olivia's chart scribbling as they looked on. Dean looked at Olivia and just smiled mouthing I love you to her as they waited for the doctor to finish reading the chart. Olivia winked back at him and smiled wide.

"O-kay… well let's have a look," she said as she put the clip board down and reached in to the drawer and took out two medium sized latex gloves. "Blood pressure and temp look fine and your weight is good Olivia." The doctor hooked up a vaginal ultrasound probe and placed it on top of the ultrasound machine. She then took the tube of gel and squirted a big dollop onto Olivia's ever expanding belly.

"So you want to know the sex is that right?" They both answered yes at the same time. The doctor wheeled herself in front of Olivia who already had placed her legs in the stirrups. She took her high magnified pen light and looked between Olivia's legs.

"Cervix lining looks fine, nice and thick." She wheeled the stool backwards and stood up coming over picking up the probe rolling it across Olivia's stomach. Dean's eyes were glued to the monitor as she rolled the probe all around. "Looks as though his or her arm is around its head." She pointed to the small object that represented the baby's head.

"Seems that was the same position last month too. I think this baby just doesn't want to be found out yet," Dr. Nussbaum told them as she chuckled, gently shaking Olivia's stomach trying to wake the baby up to turn over.

"Well we'll be doing your amniocentesis testing next week so if we can't tell by the ultrasound then we'll definitely know when the fluids come back from the lab. I'm sorry guys."

"It's fine, what's another week huh?" Dean asked looking at his girlfriend.

"He's convinced it's a girl because of my cravings." Olivia told the doctor.

"What are they?"

"Watermelon, lemonade and boston cream donuts." Dean said matter of fact.

"Is that so, why do you think that?" The doctor stuffed her hands into her lab coat.

"A boy would want steak, ribs and wings."

"He just a sexist and won't admit it," Olivia said removing her legs and sitting up with help from Dean.

"Dean, just so you know, I out ate my brothers in hot dogs when I was a little girl." Dr. Nussbaum said waving good bye to them.

Dean and Olivia are having a girl!

August was proving to be the cruelest month in this longest running heat wave the country has endured since 1922. It was the sixteenth straight day with temps over 100 degrees. Local pools were crowded and the caps on fire hydrants were being removed to alleviate the heat for residents especially the children.

Blue Note- 131 West 3rd Street, Greenwich Village-

Dean and Olivia were both jazz enthusiasts so one evening they relaxed after work by having a nice meal and enjoying the sounds of jazz at the Blue Note Supper Club.

"I hope our daughter likes jazz as much as we do," Olivia said taking the cherry from her shirley temple and passing it to Dean who inserted the orbed fruit into his mouth, rolled it around and produced the stem with a perfect knot.

"I still to this day do not know how to do that." Olivia said examining the knotted stem. "Elliot tried so many times to teach me but I could never do it."

"It's all in the tongue baby."

"You just have a more cooperative tongue than me then." She said and he smiled at the comment.

"And my cooperative tongue would like to be cooperating with you right about now," he said wagging his brows at her.

An hour later, Olivia's place 11:20 p.m.

"I can't reach my back will you rub some on for me?" She handed him the jar of cocoa butter.

"Of course I will." He scooped a big dab and proceeded to rub the lotion onto her back and the hard to reach places. The cocoa butter kept her skin smooth and also prevented the few stretch marks she had from becoming more prevalent.

"Oh I forgot to mention earlier at the club, Simon wants to know if we could join them at the beach Labor Day weekend." Dean continued to rub the butter onto her skin that already had enough rubbed on not answering her.

"Do you not want to go?" she asked cocked her head to meet his gaze that was fixated on her stomach. He slowly traced with his fingers all around her belly.

"No it's not that…I was thinking maybe we could go escape this heat wave and go somewhere cooler like Quebec and dine on some fine French food and pastry and sip some excellent French wine."

"You know I can't drink love."

"Just a sip, a toast, to us and our soon to be daughter?" Olivia smiled at Dean and his sweet adorable way of telling her he wasn't interested in going to the shore with her brother and his family.

"I'll call Simon back and tell him we can't make it. How long have you been planning this little get-away?"

"It just popped into my head." He said guiding his finger up her arm to her shoulder where he placed a small kiss on the top of it.

"Yeah sure it did." She said running her hand through his thick dark hair then with her free hand she lifted his chin to look him in the eye. She lowered her lips to meet his and soon he was pulling her down alongside him with one arm securely around her back and the other behind her neck.

She liked the roominess that his king bed gave them to maneuver but missed the cozy closeness that her old queen bed had offered. They lay facing one another engaging in long foreplay, their mouths molded together. His hand slid down over her thigh, his fingers teasing her sweet opening from behind. She moaned in ecstasy as his fingers found her entrance and massaged her clit.

Olivia moaned his name when she came for him, all over his embedded fingers. Dean continued to let his fingers manipulate her until he withdrew them, a bit pruned. His hands made their way up her back until both were combing through her silky soft brown hair. His mouth continued to happily explore hers while the massage his fingers were giving her scalp sent electrical impulses down her arms to her midsection. Dean's cock was thick and hard and ready to make love to her. He prodded her to lie in front of him as he stretched in behind her caressing her arms, kissing her neck.

Olivia was wet and ready for him. Sex was soon to become obsolete as she grew bigger and more uncomfortable. She reached behind her to fondle him, pleased to find that he was as eager as she was. Dean rolled over onto his back and groaned softly as Olivia turned back over facing him giving his manhood a proper hand job.

Soon he lifted himself up and rolled her back over, parting her right leg slightly then scooted up close guiding his swollen member into her willing opening.

She closed her eyes feeling the pleasure of his thick cock as the head penetrated her walls and slipped all the way in. He withdrew almost completely out of her then calmly pushed back in repeating his cycle to working up a sweat. She gripped his arm that was draped over her.

Several moments later he gathered between her legs careful not to bear any weight on her protruding belly. He rocked his hips in and out of her, the suctioning sound becoming more apparent. Olivia turned her head left to right softly cooing as Dean's mouth fastened onto her breasts, gently tugging on her nipples, licking and kissing them.

Olivia came once more before Dean reached his first climax. Afterwards, each gazed lovingly at one another. He tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, kissing her lips with sweet short pecks before falling asleep beside her.

Quebec, Canada-

It was a three hour ride by train to southern Quebec. The scenery was absolutely breathtaking when they arrived. The French architecture was beautiful beyond words. Dean and Olivia both spoke conversational French so ordering and getting around did not pose a problem for this couple.

They checked in to their quaint little bed and breakfast inn nestled on the banks of the St. Lawrence Sea overlooking the eastern side of Quebec City. They freshened up before going into the city to have lunch. Dean asked at the front desk what places they could recommend.

Le Pain Béni was the best by far the inn keeper told them. Lunch was delectable and about halfway through their lunch Olivia smelled the faintest of smells. Someone had ordered a fish entrée which made her nauseous. Seafood was off limits when she and Dean dined out one evening and he had ordered scallops. Olivia almost didn't make it to the bathroom that night.

Later that evening they took in the in the sights by a horse drawn carriage ride through the old part Quebec City. The restoration to the city after the French and Indian War was impressive. The city was near ruins in the bloody aftermath of that war their guide told them.

"Est-ce votre première fois au Québec?" the driver asked.

English translation- Is this your first time to Quebec?

"Oui et il ne sera pas notre dernière. C'est tellement beau ici, j'aime les architecture," Olivia told him.

English translation- Yes but it won't be our last. This is a very beautiful city, I love the architecture.

Later that evening- Olivia came out of the shower with her hair wrapped in a towel. Dean was lying across their bed with brochures of what to see and do sprawled in front of him.

"You smell heavenly my love," he told her as she sat down beside him.

"Thank you, I feel so much better. Its sweltering back home but it's not that much cooler up here as we thought. This fat lady sweats more than before."

"Stop saying that baby, you're not fat you are perfect and so is our baby." Dean said moving closer to her, rubbing her back and kissing her belly through her terry cloth robe that the Inn provided them with. Olivia leaned back against his chest while he wrapped his arms around her.

He reached up and took off the towel letting her damp hair spill down onto her shoulders. He pushed the brochures out of the way as he sat up behind her pulling her in between his legs and gently massaged her back and shoulders. After a little while had passed he pulled her down onto the bed with him and they continued to caress one another.

The kisses they exchanged were sweet, some short some long with a lot of tongue action. Dean opened her robe and fondled her breasts, kissing them softly. Olivia ran her hands up and down his thighs, kneading his flesh in all the right places making him erect. Her robe was discarded and his clothes joined her robe on the floor as they made sweet and passionate love.

Her fingernails left indentations on his forearms that rested on the tops of her thighs as he licked her clit and made her come twice while devouring her womanhood longer than he normally would do.

This time she tried straddling him but realized that it felt better for her and her back to lie sideways and/or on her back propped up with pillows and her legs over his shoulders while he penetrated her from behind and missionary style as well.

The next day they explored the Musée de la Civilisationed and the Palace Royale before Olivia's legs and ankles could take no more walking. She propped her feet up in bed that night to reduce the swelling. The next morning they ordered room service and feasted on a traditional French breakfast of pastries, omelets and cheeses and fruits.

They didn't venture out until late Sunday evening and toured the planetarium. Being able to view the North Star looking through a high powered telescope had them both in awe of how tranquil and gorgeous the northern night sky looked on a summer evening.

The New York City smog they are so accustomed to, this was a definite treat for the couple to be able to feel like you could reach out and touch one of the galaxy's many stars in view that night. Monday afternoon they checked out of their hotel and bordered their train back to New York.

Two weeks later-

Dean spied Olivia coming out of the courthouse. "Liv, wait up." She turned and looked and saw him coming towards her, her blazer barely hiding the sides of her as her maternity blouse billowed in the late afternoon breeze showing how very pregnant she was becoming.

"Are you finished for the day"? She asked him pursing her lips and holding his elbow as he kissed her cheek.

"For today, they want me back on the stand for cross tomorrow."

"This is quite a shocker…the FBI on trial," she said as passer byers descended down the courthouse steps past them.

"Are we going to argue here right on the court house steps about this?" he said looking intently at her. Dean believed it was a clean raid but Olivia felt differently. Normally she would have engaged him because they had argued about it since the trial started but a bride and groom had just finished getting married when they passed Dean and Olivia. They stopped and turned asking if one of them wouldn't mind taking a snap shot.

"Sure," Olivia said taking the camera from the groom. The pictures were taken and the camera returned as they watched the newlyweds get into a taxi and start their married lives.

"Are you done here as well?" Dean asked her, the sun hitting his eyes making him squint as the wind swept his hair into his face.

"Yeah, just have to get back and file some paper work then I'll be home." They stood for a few seconds. Olivia was looking at Dean. He studied her face as she smiled closed mouth.

"What?" he said.

"It's time," she said staring into his eyes.

"Time, time for what?" he looked back puzzled. She looked back at the entrance and he followed her eyes as she did so.

"For us to get married." Her mouth curved in an upwards smile at him as she looked back from the front of the courthouse to him.

"That is if you still want to marry me….so will you…Dean Porter, marry me?" Her tears beat the little puffs of laughter as she sobbed through her laughs.

"Olivia Benson, nothing would make me more proud than to be your lawfully wedded husband….so yes…yes I will marry you!" His eyes welled up too as he took her face in his hands and kissed her long and deep in front of all the afternoon passer byers.

Happy New Year to all. I wish everyone a healthy, happy and prosperous 2012 :-) Thank you all so much for your kind reviews.

Chapter 10: Chapter 10

The application had been filled out and the marriage license fee paid the very next day after Olivia proposed and Dean accepted. They set a date to be married in two weeks on Friday, September 28th, 2012.

Dean enlisted Alex's help with something. Olivia had already asked Alex, her brother Simon and Elliot Stabler, her former partner and lifelong friend to bear witness to her union with Dean. His brother and sister would be there to bear witness for his side.

"DA's office how may I direct your call?"

"Alex Cabot please," Dean told the receptionist. Dean waited a few seconds then…

"This is Alex Cabot."

"Alex this is Dean did I catch you at a bad time?"

"No what's up?"

"Has Liv ever mentioned to you what kind of diamond cut she likes in the way of engagement rings?"

"Well I'll be honest with you Dean it really has never come up in conversation annnd you want to know what cut to get her right?"

"Exactly." Dean said.

"Tell you what, I'm having lunch with your fiancé tomorrow so I'll ask her discreetly then I'll get back to you but Dean can I be honest with you? The best way to buy her an engagement ring she'll love is to let her pick it out herself. She'll wear this ring every day. It has to feel good on her finger and it must suit her lifestyle. She'll love you almost as much as she loves her ring." Alex said with a little laugh that followed.

"Thanks Alex, I owe you big time."

"Anytime, bye."

"Bye."

Chatthams restaurant W. 163rd street-

Olivia had her hand on the top of her round belly, her eyes shifting then looking across the table at Alex.

"Is she kicking?" Alex asked buttering a piece of bread. The waiter came by with their lunch's and set them down in front.

"Today she seems to be moving about a lot." Olivia responded.

"Must be the anchovy paste dressing on your salad she's telling you she doesn't like."

"I don't think she's going to be a seafood eater. I haven't been able to stomach anything from the sea." Olivia said summoning their waiter. Alex dove into her California cobb salad.

"I've noticed you haven't gotten your engagement ring yet. What's he waiting on? In ten days you'll be married."

"We're going ring shopping tonight for our bands so maybe I'll just have one by nights end." She said smiling at her friend.

"What kind of cut do you like for an engagement ring? Myself, I like the round cut because my fingers are long and slender." Alex asked.

"I like round as well and you know I've never given it much thought nor do I know that much about diamond cut classifications. Can you bring me the house dressing and another basket of bread please? Thank you." Olivia said buttering another French baguette.

"Me either and now a days more and more brides are picking out their rings." Alex said.

"Not me, I rather be surprised…well if we had more time but seeing as we don't, I'd like to see how his imagination works. He's done really well in the jewelry department with previous jewelry he's bought for me. He gave me this one for my birthday last year." Olivia placed her hand in front for her friend to see the garnet gemstones entwined between a golden criss cross with two diamonds accompanying each side of the gem.

"That's gorgeous! How come I've never seen that one?"

"You haven't been taken me to lunch that often." Olivia said smiling at Alex. "I do admire his taste in jewelry, it's a lot like his love making," Olivia said leaning forward over the table speaking in a low tone.

"Genuine at best and simply breath taking all the other times." Olivia's nose scrunched at the bridge as she and Alex giggled over her comment.

Five hours later-

"Oh wow she's really kicking today," Olivia said. Dean looked over at Olivia and smiled placing his hand on her stomach.

"My goodness she is, I felt that!" He exclaimed full of joy. He kept his hand on her stomach hoping to feel his daughter again. Olivia moved his hand to the side where the baby had shifted and he beamed with delight.

"She's just started all this moving about a lot lately. I think the Hawaiian chicken woke her up." Olivia said laughing. "Or it could it have been your moo-shoo pork, Olivia added.

"Two months honey and will be parents. Who would have thought it would have been this fast after meeting again last fall?" he said smiling at her.

"Certainly not I and I have no regrets that it happened the way it did." Olivia said.

"Me either. I can't tell you enough times Liv how happy I am to be marrying you and becoming a father to our baby girl. You've changed my whole life for the better."

"Awww thanks and the feeling is definitely mutual."

"Looks like we're going to have to park in the garage." Dean said pulling in and taking a ticket.

Bloomindales-

Dean was grateful Alex was able to decipher from Olivia what kind of engagement ring she liked best. Tomorrow at lunch he would purchase her engagement ring instead of Olivia picking it out having learned from Alex.

"I like these." Olivia slipped on her band along with Dean.

"I do too. Out of all three rings you like these the best?" he asked her.

"Yeah, I like these best." The sales associate rang them up.

"And you sure these will be back next week?" Olivia asked.

"Yes mam we do all our engraving on site." Olivia paid the deposit and they left.

"Why are we stopping here?" Olivia asked looking around.

"I ate the last of the boston cream donuts this morning. Drive around the block and pick me up at Dunkin Donuts." Dean came back out with a mixed dozen of eight boston cream for her and four assorted for him.

"Yum, here want half?" she offered a piece of the sweet dessert to him. He licked the remaining chocolate and bavarian filling from his finger.

"I'm glad these are part of your cravings." He said.

That evening Olivia's place 10:30 p.m.

"We're all set for reservations for dinner at Tratorria's?" Dean said getting into bed beside her.

"Yep but I had to add two more."

"Who?"

"Calvin's grandparents."

"Oh good but what, they didn't think he should attend our wedding celebration without them?"

"I guess but I'm ok with them coming, they're nice enough to let Calvin come to visit."

"Yeah I suppose your right." He rolled over on his stomach and folded his arms in front of him looking intently at her. Everything was beautiful about this woman he was about to make his wife. Her skin, her smile, her eyes, her mouth, her hair and of course her voluptuous body he could never keep his hands off of. Olivia lay back on her pillow giving him a raised brow look.

"Suppose? I am right and what about your father, did he ever call you back?"

"No I didn't expect him to. We've tried to have a life with him but he doesn't want it, he rather be happy drinking his cognac, fishing somewhere in the Gulf of Mexico and fucking anything in a skirt. He's made his choice."

"I can't believe that someone would carry a grudge for so long and against his own flesh and blood." Olivia said. Dean leaned over and kissed her stomach then traced his finger up her stomach to her cleavage.

"It's not so much the grudge with his children but with my mom because we sided with her. The Bureau was his life and he never forgave my mom for making him retire too early. He's just a bitter old man Liv."

"I'm sorry love."

"It's alright."

"Well I mean your mother too, I wish there was some way to have her come see her son get married."

"Me too honey but she's too ill to make the trip and you know what? Right after, we need to go Boston to see her, is that ok?"

"Of course that's ok. I just wished I had met your mom under better circumstances than when I did. She's a beautiful woman Dean and she raised three great kids despite your louse of a father cheating on her right in front of her!"

"I know but it's not dampening my spirits that my asshole of a father won't be attending to witness me marrying the love of my life….What, what are you staring at?" He stopped and looked up at her.

"You have chocolate on the corner of your mouth." she told him pointing the obvious out. Dean felt the corner of his mouth with his tongue. She giggled.

"I just told you that I'm marrying the love of my life and all I get is that I have chocolate in the corner of my mouth?" Dean hovered over her eyeing her appreciatively and she cowered with tiny laughs.

"So take it off." he told her grinning. Her eyes danced in front of him smiling. She lifted up and easily took the tip of her tongue and stroked the corner of his mouth getting the dot of chocolate off, she then slid her tongue over her lips rather seductively, bringing her mouth to meet his.

It was hands free kissing as Dean lay on his stomach with his arms crossed against his chest and Olivia sat upright resting her weight on the palms of her hands. Their tongues collided as their mouths moved over top of each other in slow motion.

When they stopped kissing he rubbed his nose with hers before going in for the kill. Olivia scooted down trying to hold him off at his broad shoulders but his power over her won out. He buried his mouth into the crook of her neck and she surrendered to him with ease.

Saturday morning, two days later-

"What's this?" she asked looking at the black box next to her tray of breakfast Dean brought her.

"Open it."

"Oh my god it's gorgeous!" Olivia slipped the two karat round diamond on her finger bringing it close to her face.

"I love you my wife to be in a week."

"I love you too my husband to be in a week." With her eyes welled, she took his face in her hands and kissed her soon to be husband long and deep, quietly pulling him down on the bed with her.

Friday September 28th, 2012 11:00 a.m. Manhattan District Court, office of the city clerk.

"Would you like a prayer to be said?" the court official asked the bride and groom.

"Yes." they both answered.

"As we share in this wedding ceremony, it is well that we remember that in the beginning, when God created the heavens and the earth, He concluded, "It is not good for man to be alone." So, He created woman to share in man's life-to assist in man's striving-to satisfy man's need. He also created the woman to be loved, honored and appreciated by man.

This is marriage, and it is for the purpose of joining Dean and Olivia in marriage that we have come together today. The marriage of two Christians is viewed by God as an occasion of great joy since it marks the beginning of a relationship that is second only to our personal relationship with the Lord himself but it is only through Christ that marriage becomes what God intends it to be. Let us acknowledge his place in this ceremony and see his blessing on this union.

Which of you gentlemen will give this lovely woman away in holy matriomony?" The court advocate looked at Elliot and Simon.

"That would be me," Simon said stepping forward and kissing his sister on her cheek embracing her then he shook Dean's hand then man hugged him.

Olivia and Dean stood together; the butterflies in her stomach already took flight and her hands shook uncontrollably as she held on to Dean's hands. Their eyes were filled with salty water as they gazed at one another.

"We are gathered to unite the two of you in marriage, which is an institution ordained by the state and made honorable by the faithful keeping of good men and women throughout all ages, and is not to be entered into lightly or unadvisedly.

Do you Dean take Olivia to be your wife, to love, comfort, and cherish her from this day forth?"

"Yes I do." He said smiling huge at Olivia. The digital camera's flashed from every angle.

"Do you Olivia take Dean to be your husband, to love, comfort, and cherish from this day forth?"

"I do." She said looking into Dean's eyes with a huge smile and a tear that slowly trickled down her face. The court official smiled at both as their family and friends who came to witness dabbed at their moistened eyes. The room was bright and full of happy smiles.

"I understand that you both wish to exchange your own vows?"

"Yes we do," Dean answered and Olivia shook her head and took Dean's hands in hers.

"You may proceed."

"Dean, you are so many things to me, and I am sure you will be many more in our life together. No one is perfect, but with all of your strengths and weaknesses, and with all of mine, together we ARE perfect." Olivia stopped for a second to remain composed. Her emotion was evident as her voice trembled and her hands shook enfolded with his. Dean did his best to steady her.

"You complete me in more ways than I could have thought possible. I knew before my heart did that we were made for each other. Now my heart has caught up, and the joy that I feel from the love that I have for you is incomparable, and I know that you feel the same because your love radiates from you and surrounds me in warmth.

Because of all of these things, I want with all my heart, to be the best person I can be for you. I will love you forever. I will laugh with you when times are good, and I will lift you up when times are hard. I will be the joy of your heart, and I will be the food of your soul. I promise to wash away your tears with my kisses, and hold you with passion. My affection will know no bounds. With this ring I give to you my body, my mind, my soul, my entire being…I love you with all my heart."

Now it was Dean's turn. He took a deep breath and the tears were pooled up inside his eyes as well. "Olivia, since we have been together, you have made me feel more complete, more alive, and have shown me the true meaning of happiness. I am a better person with you by my side.

That's why today, in front of you, our friends, and our family I take you to be my partner, loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know. I promise to respect you as an equal and to recognize that your interest, desires and needs are as important as mine.

I promise to laugh with you when times are good and endure with you when they are bad. I can't wait to grow old together, getting to know the woman you will become and falling in love a little more every day. Today I give you my hand, my heart, and my love without condition, completely and forever."

The court official looked at both of them, closed up her folder and folded her hands smiling big at both of them. Flashes continued to light up the already bright room and video recorded from cell phones.

"Dean, Olivia by the power invested in me granted by the second district court of Manhattan New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Dean you may kiss your bride now."

"With pleasure," he said. Olivia laughed tilting her head back as he came in and scooped her mouth into his. Their kisses were passionate and eye widening from the looks of the small crowd that stood to witness their union. Applause and one ear popping whistle came from their family and friends when the couple parted from their kiss.

Hugs and congratulations were plenty as the happy newlyweds left the court house embarking on their married life.

"Thank you so much for being part of our day today. We love you so much Alex." Dean came up next and kissed Alex on her cheek hugging her tight.

"Will see you tomorrow evening." Olivia said.

"You bet, congratulations you two, love you both."

"Love you too Alex," they said in unison as they watched her go.

Elliot, Simon and Dean's family joined the newlyweds for a celebratory lunch afterwards.

"We all chipped in and got you this weekend at the Waldorf Astoria since Liv your apartment is really not the honeymoon palace and we thought since you're not going to have a proper honeymoon that tonight will start your lives off in eternal bliss." Elliot said handing over the envelope to the happy couple.

That evening, Waldorf Astoria-

Dean poured the champaign and together they clinked glasses. "I love you, my love my life." They hooked arms taking a drink, Olivia took just a small sip toasting to their newly married life. Dean set their glasses on the table and took his wife by the hand. The only music option was the music channel on the television.

They danced their first dance cheek to cheek and hip to hip. Two songs later he was loosening his tie and kicking off his shoes. Olivia slipped out of hers and she was led onto the bed where he kisses all over her abdomen then made his way north. He gazed lovingly into her eyes telling her over and over again how much in love he was with her.

"I love you too baby, so much." She said matching his gaze smoothing his face with her fingers. They lay face to face joined by hands and Olivia clutched them to her chest, kissing Dean's knuckles then the back of his hands, reaching over kissing him long and slow.

Trattoria's Saturday September 29th 7:00 p.m.

Simon stood up and lightly tapped his glass with his spoon.

"A toast to the newlyweds Dean and Olivia. May your beacon of light never grow dim, may the love you have for each other grow fonder and deeper each day of your lives. May the child you both are about to bear be healthy, happy and wise."

"Here here," Eliiot added. It was a wonderful evening for Olivia and Dean surrounded by their closest friends and family. The food was plenty, stomachs were full and hearts were happy.

"Calvin, we're glad you could come and share in our celebration," Olivia said caressing the back of his head and pulling him into a hug.

"I didn't want to miss it for the world; sorry I couldn't be there yesterday when you got married."

"You're here now and that's all that matters love. I love you."

"I love you too Olivia."

"Hey can I get in on this action too?" Dean asked. "Com're buddy. So glad you could make it."

"Me too," Calvin said.

"And just between us three, well four." Dean leaned down and whispered in his ear.

"You're baby sister is going to need a big brother around from time to time." Calvin smiled up at them. His grandparents had made their way over to where Dean, Olivia and Calvin were standing.

"Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Arliss for coming and sharing in our day with us, we are ever so grateful to you both." Olivia said shaking hands with them.

"Well we owe you a debt of gratitude. He's been so happy since he's reconnected with you Olivia. It was a big adjustment for him to leave NY and live with us but you've helped a great deal with that change, so Herb and I thank you. Congratulations to you both, may you have a lifetime of joy and happiness."

"Thank you," Olivia said hugging them both. Dean shook hands as they passed by him making their exit. They watched Calvin go but not without sadness. They both adored that young man especially Olivia. They thanked all their guests, Alex, Captain Don Cragen, John Munch, Nick Amaro, Amanda Rollins, Odafin Tutuola, Casey Novak and Melinda Warner.

The rain had been coming down hard all day. The front that had passed through last night was throwing down some torrential rains that had closed most public school districts in Manhattan and surrounding jurisdictions early. The threat for localized flooding was imminent.

"Maybe it should rain like this all the time, seems kiddie didlers and sicko's are afraid to get drenched," Fin said from his desk. Olivia, Amanda and Nick filtered through some cold cases for any new leads.

"So are you almost ready for that baby to be here?" Nick asked her.

"Am I ever. Two and half months to go." Olivia said.

"There's nothing better than holding your baby right after she's born, ya know? Right here, right here," he said patting his chest smiling. "All soft and warm and you look down into her eyes and promise them everything." Nick was referring to witnessing the birth of his daughter.

"I can't wait to smell her little head, and kiss her tiny little fingers and toes." Olivia smiled wide at Nick.

"I love babies too but not when they mess then I give them back to my sister or their mother," Amanda said adding to the conversation then went back to searching the net. Hey guys, I found this article from 2003. Olivia did you guys ever come across this?" Olivia pushed back her chair and went over to Amanda's desk with Nick on her heels.

"No we didn't, hey Fin take a look at this," Olivia said. Olivia's phone rang so she retrieved it from her back pocket.

"Hi…please tell me your calling to tell me the ceiling is fixed?"

"I wish. They can't do anything until this rain stops when they can get onto the roof but they did stop the leaking." Dean told her hoping that was a bit of good news.

"Make reservations yet?"

"Yep, we're at the hotel two blocks from your precinct and I finished the touch ups in the nursery. It's a good thing you're not here to smell the fumes because I'm getting light headed myself," he told her

"How does it look?"

"You're going to love it and the easy peel off wall boarder was a breeze to put on." He told her.

"Good job baby thanks. Is our birthing class still on for tonight?"

"I'll call then call you back." Dean said.

"Ok bye love you." Olivia said.

"Love you too, bye."

Five thirty p.m. Nick dropped her off at her place.

"Me and my wife never took birthing or lamaze classes, guess we should of. I remember when our daughter was really sick; it was all because we mixed warm water with the baby formula not knowing you can't use warm water because the powder doesn't all mix properly. Have to use cold water then warm it in the microwave for a few seconds."

"It's mostly all on a learning curve Nick, kids don't come with instructions. Are you guys thinking about having another one?" Nick stared straight ahead trying his best to avoid her question. It dawned on Olivia from her and her partner's conversation last month.

"Sorry Nick I didn't know." She gave his arm a light squeeze. "If you ever need to talk, I'm here ok?" He turned and looked at her flinching his lips into a teeny smile.

"Yeah…thanks, see you tomorrow at work. You need a ride?"

"Dean'll drop me off. Have a good one see ya tomorrow."

"Bye." He waited for her to get inside her building before pulling away.

"Hi sweetie," Olivia said coming in and shedding her wet coat. Dean came up to her and planted a I'm glad your home kiss on her lips. He had dinner all ready for them.

"So how did it go with the rest in the office?" she asked twirling a fork and spoonful of spaghetti.

"Everyone's on board so far," he said chewing his garlic bread. Olivia chewed then took a drink of her water and just looked at him swallowing.

"Honey don't worry, we're going to be fine. This has to happen, Jim has got to go." Dean did his best to reassure her feelings.

"I'm worried that if it doesn't work out you're out of a job and possibly a career in law enforcement and we have a baby on the way and my salary is not all that."

"I know your worried baby but things have to happen for a reason and this is a good reason." He placed his hand over top of hers giving her a quaint smile.

Roosevelt Hospital midtown Manhattan –

"Good evening everyone I'm Cheryl and this is Melanie will be running the next 3 classes then in two weeks some of you moms to be have signed up for the yoga moms lamaze class. Melanie will be running those classes. So for the next three classes we're going to show you how to baby proof a house, change a diaper, infant cpr and first aid, swaddling your infant, bathing and teething instructions and what to do if your baby won't take the breast while you're breast feeding."

"Let's start with introductions and when you're due and if you know the sex please feel free to share. After introductions we'll watch a short twenty minute video on how to baby proof your home. So why don't we start here and work our way around the room."

"Hi I'm Olivia I'm due December 17th and we're having a girl. I'm Dean and I had the easy hand in all of this." Olivia smiled and gave her husband a look giving him a light tap on his arm as he leaned into her. The class laughed at his comment.

"Oh you just think you had the easy part. No sleep for the next six months, oh yeah it's all just beginning for you," one of the instructors said. Olivia patted Dean's knee smiling at him. They went around the table with introductions then started the video.

After the video the couples moved into how to baby proof their homes.

At the conclusion of the class Olivia and Dean had a few questions for the instructor and wanted to view the baby and safety products that were shown to the class earlier.

The next class they were enrolled in was a yoga moms to be class that taught breathing, stretching and relaxation techniques. It was the fourth class of the sixth classes offered and Dean was running late. Olivia was not too happy that he was probably going to miss it.

"Hey Olivia I'll go if you need a partner?" Nick volunteered.

"You sure you don't mind?"

"No not at all, just let me make a phone call and I'll grab my coat and we're outta here." He said putting his phone to his ear.

"Ok we're all set, let's go." He said.

Roosevelt Hospital-

"Olivia where's Dean?" the instructor asked.

"He's running late tonight, this is Nick my friend and co-worker."

"Nice to meet you Nick, glad you could join us. "Ok the next exercise I want you to do…is father's or partners get behind the mother's and put your hands on their shoulders then slowly lift their arms out to the sides bringing them back to their sides counting to three. Repeat this three times nice and slow." The instructor went on with the next exercise after that one was complete.

"Now moms next I want you to raise your arms over your heads and hold your breath counting to ten then down then repeat the cycle two more times. Dads I want your hands on your spouse's stomachs. I want you to stroke their bellies while they are doing the exercise."

Nick and Olivia got into position and followed the steps the instructor just conveyed to the group. Dean had walked in as they were practicing. He stood and watched until there was a break.

"Making the moves on my wife huh Amaro?" Dean chided him. The two men shook hands. "Thanks for filling in friend, appreciate it."

"No problem it was my pleasure." Nick grabbed his coat and told Olivia he would see her tomorrow at the "house." They finished the class then Dean and Olivia headed home.

A late October Saturday afternoon-

"Hand me the screw driver hon please." Dean was putting together the crib as Olivia sat in the rocking chair ready to assist with directions if he needed them. About forty five minutes later and fifty some screws, the finished product was complete.

"What do you think baby?" They stood with their arms around each other backs admiring his handy work.

"It's beautiful, thank you love. Do you like the dresser there or there?" she asked.

"I like it right where it's at." He said. "It's a good thing we didn't get any more stuff from your baby shower because I don't think anymore would fit in this room."

"I know and I love the rocking chair," she said.

"Just think Liv when our daughter wakes up in the middle of the night she can think she's been kidnapped by a band of gypsies," Dean said looking up at the ceiling at the easy peel off glow in the dark stars and moons. Olivia moved past him giving him a look.

"Hungry," he asked grabbing for her hands but she slipped by before he could catch her.

"Liv, honey what's wrong?" Dean came over to where she was standing putting his hands on her shoulders.

"I was just kidding." He said.

"It's not that, I'm just worried about your meeting tomorrow. What if it doesn't work out and you're out of a job?"

"Jim isn't going to fire me Liv, you just have to trust me ok?" She just looked at him with no expression.

"Yeah….ok. Yes I'm hungry, I'm always hungry."

"You want to go out or do you want order in?" he asked.

"Order in." she said. Dean and his other boss's attempt to overthrow the current director of field operations did not go as planned for Dean and the team. One of his bosses Mark was reassigned and Dean was having his meeting in the morning with Jim. Dean had said it was worth the risk to rid the Bureau of one cantankerous asshole that had been under Dean's skin since he transferred to New York five years ago.

November 30th ,2012 the day after Thanksgiving-

They had gone to Boston for Thanksgiving to visit with his mom. They were both exhausted from the four hour car trip up and back. As they slept soundly that evening Olivia felt a cool liquid between her legs seep downward that awoke her from a deep slumber. She felt down below and knew her water had broken.

"Dean, wake up, wake up honey my water broke."

"Huh," he mustered in a sleepy voice.

"It's time." She told him.

"Oh shit she's early!"

"And you were expecting an invitation?" Olivia looked at him stupidly as she hurried to get her clothes on and search for her cell. Dean got the bag and they were soon out the door and on the way to the hospital. Olivia woke up her obstetrician at 2:40 a.m. and she informed them she was on her way.

Olivia had been dilated almost five cm by the time she arrived at the hospital and the contractions were closer together now. She had been in labor for almost two and half hours now. The anesthesiologist had just finished giving her the epidural shot in her spine. Dean was busy running back and forth fetching cups of ice for her to suck and chew on.

"Breathe honey," her husband told her as he stroked her hair and kissed her forehead. The doctor came back in the room.

"Ok Olivia let's have another look." She inserted her two fingers into Olivia's vagina. Ok we're ready to deliver a healthy baby girl. You ready Liv? You're just about at ten centimeters so we can start pushing." Dean blotted her forehead with the cool cloth then then took her hand back in his.

"Ok 1,2,3 push. Good Olivia, now take a breath." The doctor said.

"You're doing great honey." Dean told her. She lay back on the pillow taking deep breaths. She was exhausted. She closed her eyes tight and a tear squirted from the corner slowly cascading down her cheek as she took a deep breath and started to the push cycle all over again.

"Ready to do it again?" the doctor looked up at her from between Olivia's legs. Olivia pushed herself up, the sweat beaded on her forehead and trickled down the side of her face. She took another deep breath and gritted her teeth. "1, 2, 3 push mamma, push. Oh good I can see the crown of her head." The doctor said.

"Breathe baby; you can do it she's almost here. I love you Liv!" Dean said as he squeezed her hand smiling carefully watching the doctor's face.

"Big push this time mom. Yes ok she's almost out, one more and she's here!" Dean looked down and couldn't believe his eyes as life was coming out of his wife's womb.

His daughter.

He choked up but the tears in his eyes and joy in his heart were too much for him as he put his head down on Olivia's shoulder and wept for a few seconds.

"Hello there baby girl," her doctor said as she took their baby completely out of Olivia and handed her to the attending nurse. The nurse handed Dean the scissors and he nervously cut the umbilical cord. The baby was laid on Olivia's chest as Olivia wept and kissed her head.

She was redish/pink in color and shivering with her tiny balled up fists and legs shaking. Her small mouth was wide open and her tongue was shuddering. She was crying alright but no noise emitted from her lungs just yet. Dean put his head against Olivia's and kissed her temple area. He then leaned over and kissed his daughter's head feeling her tiny fingers. The obstetrician proceeded with removing the placenta from Olivia.

During their birthing class they opted to have their daughters cord blood donated to a local blood bank. They registered with their hospital so when the nurse came back with the box she and Dean deposited the remains of the cord into a safe refrigerated bag and Dean filed out and signed the necessary paperwork.

The baby's lips and mouth quivered as she strained to get a cry out then at last there it was a full blown cry. Olivia couldn't hold back the flood gates as her tears spilled from her eyes listening to her daughter take her first breath and greet the world.

"She's beautiful Liv, she absolutely beautiful!" Dean exclaimed. Olivia kissed her daughter again and again not wanting to give her to the nurse. Dean had to pry her gently from her mother's arms and hand her to the nurse as Olivia's eyes traveled with the nurse all the way to the warming tray where she was washed off, her nose was suctioned for any remaining liquid from being inside her mother's water sac the past 37 weeks and ointment was rubbed on her eyelids and her wristband with all her information was placed on her tiny little wrist.

Alahnah Rose Porter born Friday November 30th at 6:17 a.m. weighed in at 7lbs 7 oz and 20 inches long. She is going to be a tall woman like her mother and father.

Friends and relatives showed up in droves the next day with flowers and baskets of fruit and sweet goodies. Olivia and Dean chose to have their daughter remain in their room for most of the time rather than having her in the nursery. They both were exhausted having slept on very little sleep in the past 36 hours.

The next day the lactation specialist came in to show Olivia how her and baby bond through breast feeding. Olivia was asleep with baby Alahnah nestled snuggled in the crook of her arm and Dean was asleep in the reclining chair.

"Hello."(a knock at their door)

"Hi I'm Linda and I'm a lactation nutritionist." Olivia opened her very sleepy eyes as well as Dean sitting up from his slumped slumber position. Olivia rubbed her eyes and yawned looking down at a sleeping Alahnah.

"You are Olivia Porter?"

"Yes and this is my husband Dean." The hospital employee came over to Olivia's bed.

"Oh she's just darling. Hi little one, welcome to the world. Oh she's just precious," the staff worker said in a low whisper careful not to disturb the baby. "Are you going to be breast feeding?"

"Thank you and yes I'm going to be breast feeding." Olivia said yawning again.

Dean sat up rubbing his face and putting a hand through his hair. The specialist showed Olivia how the baby should latch on to the breast without pain. Her milk had come in a few hours after giving birth so she had already been feeding.

"Ahhh that's great and she's hungry. That's a perfect shape of her mouth on your aureole. Ok let's try the other breast." Olivia moved her daughter to her other breast but the baby had a hard time latching on to the nipple. The specialist helped rub Alana's mouth on to her mother's nipple until she felt comfortable with her mom's milk. Dean watched from his chair.

"Dad come here please, this is good for you to see in case mom needs help and I'm not here to show you." Dean moved to the bed.

"Ok I see, just rub her gums over the aureole until she takes the nipple."

"Yes just like that." Linda said. "Well ok you're all set. Congratulations once again and all of us here at Roosevelt hospital wish you and your baby all the best."

"Thanks." Olivia said. Dean helped by taking the baby and putting her in the bassinet next to her mom's bed. A little while later the hospital photographer came in and talked about baby's first photos. Olivia and Dean set up an appointment for tomorrow morning before they were going to leave the hospital.

Baby Alahnah was brought home on December 2nd 2012. They had set up her bassinet in their room for the first month because Olivia was so afraid she or Dean would sleep through her cries and not hear the monitor next to their bed.

Two weeks later-

"Ohhh I wish you didn't have to go back to work so soon." Olivia half pouted. Dean sat at the small breakfast table with his daughter in his arms, slowly rocking her whispering sweet nothings to her.

"I know I wish I didn't have to either," he said, his eyes locked on his pride and joy. "She so gorgeous, just like her mother," he smiled looking up at his wife.

"You know I read somewhere that if men practiced long enough they could actually learn to breast feed," Olivia said covering her mouth with her fist yawning for a couple of seconds.

"You're delusional with lack of sleep but I still love you Liv." Soon he stood up giving his daughter a good bye kiss then handing Alahnah over to her mommy.

"You gonna be ok?" he asked his wife.

"Yeah, call me soon ok?"

"I will, I love you Liv." He leaned in and kissed her sweetly on the lips.

"I love you too; have a good first day back." She walked to the door and pecked him on the lips before closing and locking it.

February 2013-

Olivia was doing laundry when she was startled coming through the door with Alahnah in her carrier. Dean was standing in the kitchen in front of the refrigerator drinking a glass of soda.

"What are you doing home so early?" she asked coming over to him.

"I missed my girls and I especially have missed this one," he said giving her a kiss on the lips.

"Well we've certainly missed you and this here gal has especially too."

"Hi sweetheart, how's daddy's little angel?" he said taking her from Olivia's arms. Alahnah opened her little mouth and all you could see was a pink hole as she shut her eyes yawning and curling her tiny hands to her face. She had just turned 3 months old.

"She's hungry huh?" he asked kissing her face.

"I just fed her maybe fifteen minutes ago before you got here so she's down for the count in about 5, 4, 3, 2, and she's gone," Olivia said smiling. "I'll go put her down."

When she returned Dean was on sitting on the couch. "So how's your day going?" she asked.

"Boring but it just got a whole lot better." he said leaning way over tilting his head under her chin for a kiss. "That felt weird."

"What my kiss?" she asked looking at him funny.

"It was an upside down one," he said motioning to her for another one. She happily obliged but not without yawning. The baby had been sleeping almost through the night. A lot better than her two to three hours when she first arrived home. Olivia and Dean were probably averaging 4 to five hours of sleep if they were lucky. Dean had encouraged Olivia to try and nap with the baby and leave the laundry for him to do at night but knowing Olivia she could never sit still and not that her 800 square foot apartment needed major cleaning every day but he went ahead and hired a maid to give her a hand.

"Wanna get frisky?" he asked wagging his brows at her.

"That's why you came home early isn't it?" He stumbled as he answered her.

"Well...no...I...I just thought since, we haven't, you know."

"Made love in like four months, but whose counting?" she said catching him and giggling.

"That's a sexy giggle," he told her.

"I have more than just a sexy giggle."

"I know and I want to touch you really bad right now." he said putting his hand on her thigh. She slouched down on the couch and he turned hovering over her planting delicate kisses on her lips. She curled a lock of his hair between her fingers smiling at him.

"I want you to touch me because the feeling is definitely mutual." In seconds he was into her cleavage, gently kissing her through her bra.

"You smell so good," he said looking up at her.

"Baby spit up and breast milk, that's good hon." she said with a light chuckle. Dean gave her a devlish look and righted himself picking her up off the couch and taking her to the bedroom. She reached down while still in his arms and turned up the monitor that sat on his side of the night table.

Olivia moaned softly at the masterful skill his tongue was doing to her clit and she came in a matter of seconds when his fingers connected with her magic spot. Soon he was climbing on top of her pressing himself into her. Their lovemaking started out slow and smooth then escalated to thrusts of pleasure. They kissed with fever sometimes missing their mark. After a while He pulled out of her soaked hole and slid her to the edge of the bed. Dean held her ankles while he entered her with ease. He plunged himself deep inside of her over and over, the suctioning noises and slapping of their skin together, heightening. He felt his orgasm bubbling in his testicles as he balls started to ache. She had lowered her legs now to where they were around his waist and he gripped at her hips pushing his pelvis harder into her kissing her with lots of tongue then he spilled his semen into her vagina.

Olivia's cell vibrated while she was at the grocery store. "Oh my that's wonderful news yes will be in tomorrow, thank you, thank you so much!" The other shoppers who were privy to hear her excitement in her voice smiled at her as they passed by down the aisle. Olivia was calling Dean at the same time he was calling her so she tapped take call from Dean on her phone.

"Liv I just got a call fr-"

"I know me too. My god this is so great. We meet with her tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. is that going to be a problem Dean?" she asked matter of fact.

"Absolutely not, I'm taking the day off as we speak." They were bubbling over with excitement at the news of adopting a three year old deaf boy.

Next day at the adoption agency they sat nervously awaiting the director's arrival. Soon the door opened and they were ushered in.

"Good morning both of you. Oh is this your newborn? Oh isn't she just precious, congratulations!" she said looking down at a sleepy baby in her stroller. The director then took her seat behind her huge executive desk.

"Well as I explained to you both on the phone Michael is from Oregon and he is just learning American Sign Language not having been exposed to any language since birth. He's not potty trained fully yet. The foster family we have him with has been wonderful but they don't how to sign and with all the kids they have in their home we want to place Michael in the best possible environment. He is a very bright child eager to learn they say, they just wished they had the time to learn sign language.

The deaf family we were hoping to place him with had a bit of a problem with their application so it fell through. Olivia I was reviewing your application and it says on here you speak three languages and you know some ASL is that correct?"

"Yes, over the course of working with the NYPD we've had some deaf suspects that we use an interpreter with and I've picked up a few signs and my sister-in-law knows it from her job and she's taught me two or three signs so she's an excellent resource for us to use plus I have baby books on sign language I've been using with our daughter because studies show signing at an early age is best for babies to help them with communication skills."

"I couldn't agree more with you Olivia. Are you both willing to take courses in American Sign Language?"

"Yes absolutely," Olivia said.

"Yes we would be very open to it," Dean said. "There are some deaf employees at the FBI in the finger print division and on occasion I've had the chance to converse with them, they are more hard of hearing but none the less being deaf or hard of hearing is no barrier to us having a child with a disability," he said.

"Good, that's what I like to hear. New York has a very reputable school in Lexington."

"What about mainstream schools here in the city?" Dean asked.

"Well that's certainly your other option or if you prefer you can home school him but I think the social skills will benefit him more if he's surrounded by other deaf."

"Will explore all of our options." Olivia said rocking Alahnah in the stroller. She began to fuss so Olivia took her out holding her on her lap putting in her pacifier.

"She beautiful, how old?"

"She's almost two months." Olivia said kissing Alahnah's cheek. She sucked hard on her nookie kicking her tiny little feet and stretching her arms to her face. Dean took her finger in his and she lightly gripped her daddy's finger looking wide eyed at him. They signed their paper work and they were on a flight to Oregon two days later.

"We have to get a house and soon Liv."

"I know I didn't expect this to happen this quick but I'm so glad it did."

"Me too. This where it all began for us honey."

"Who would of thunk it love?" The stewardess's made a fuss over how beautiful Olivia's and Dean's baby was. Most people who saw her said she looked like her momma.

"Well we're complete now. A family of four, two men two ladies," he said touching his daughter's nose with his finger. She slept soundly in Olivia's arms almost the entire flight except for the last hour when she woke up crankier than a mad bumble bee.

She needed feeding. Olivia adjusted her blouse removing her breast from her nursing bra and Dean got the nursing privacy cloth from the bag under his seat then proceeded to help his wife get situated to nurse.

Michael Porter was brought home to New York where he was enrolled in preschool at the Clark school for sign and speech on the upper east side of Manhattan. Olivia and Dean ended their lease on her apartment in the summer of 2013 and moved into their new four bedroom home in Long Beach, NY.

The End


End file.
